Waiting for the MAX, a parable.

This blog is brought to you by Karyn, Shannon, Annie, letter T, and the number 7.

Public transportation is hard.

You have to do a lot of things right. You have to get up on time. You have to manage to leave your house in one piece with everything you need, including your wallet. You have to arrive at the station with enough time to buy a ticket. You have know which direction you want to go and which train will take you there.

But even doing all these things doesn't guarantee you success, a lot of things can go wrong.

Sometimes, you wait and wait and wait and the MAX just doesn't show up. There's no announcement, no explanation, just that's it. The clock on the screen keeps changing and no train is in sight. This annoys you because you believed that if you did your part, showed up on time with ticket in hand the promised MAX would be there. The MAX is full of lies. You feel slighted and cheated and a little bit silly. You wonder if everyone else that is waiting knows something that you don't. You watch other people return to their cars or decide to walk and wonder if you should bail, too. But still you wait, confident that if you should leave, the MAX will arrive at the very moment you're too far away to run back to it.

Sometimes, the MAX shows up right on time. You, satisfied you, you board happily. You score a great seat. You pulled out the book you remembered to bring and you prepare yourself for the journey. Then, nothing happens. You're on the MAX but the MAX ain't movin' and you wait.

Sometimes, the MAX shows up earlier than you thought. You are not ready. The ticket machine won't print and you watch the train take off without you, maybe you wave.

Sometimes, you're halfway through your MAX trip and you realize it's not making the same stops it usually does. Something is terribly wrong. You blink twice and suddenly you're in Gresham, "what? how the heck did we get here?". Now you have to get off the MAX, turn around and start the whole process over in the other direction.

But sometimes, only sometimes, your train pulls in just when you're ready for it. You get a seat all to yourself. You don't even bother to open your book because you've hit the bridge just as the sun is coming up. Sometimes public transportation is reliable and easy and trustworthy and good.

So....which MAX are you on?

Computers are stupid

So I was getting on the internet sometime around the beginning of the month, you know, checking the eeemail or whatever, and I noticed something strange: I was completely disconnected. (This is strange because my computer is set to automatically connect to the network when I'm at home.) When I tried to manually connect, it told me that the security key was wrong, or that the encryption type was wrong, or that the signal strength was low. I think the signal strength message was just to mock me, and altering the other two things manually made no difference. I input the correct information, and got the same messages. So now my computer was lying to me openly. What the fizz.

Turns out that when Mr. PC wanted me to check the security key, I was supposed to move to a different tab and check a box to "enable Atheros settings," a command I neither understand nor have ever un-checked in the first place. That, plus disabling then enabling my wireless device (again), resetting the router (again), and re-typing the security key for about the fifteenth time, finally "resolved" the "problem." Obviously.

In the meantime, I've been listening a lot lately to a guy named Shane Claiborne. He has worked for Mother Teresa and Willow Creek, helped found an urban Christian community in Philadelphia, and written a number of books, among other things. It's easy to see that he's different (when he spoke at church I kept staring at his homemade pants, which look very much like regular pants, only backwards), but one of the things that most impressed me about him was his willingness to move past cynicism.

Cynycism and I go way back. Runs in the family, I guess. It seems pretty popular in Portland, too. Claiborne says that cynicism doesn't take a lot of energy, and I agree at least that it can be easy to default to once you get in the habit.

The thing is, you will never run out of things to be negative and annoyed about, if you are in the business of being negative and annoyed. Life is full of potential aggravations. Like computers. But your angry response is not predetermined; like it says in that one TV show, you always have a choice. Choose life.

Last day on earth

I was driving to work a few weeks ago, listening to the radio and one of the Christian stations posed the hypothetical question, "What would you do if today was your last day on earth?" Now I've heard this question before. Haven't we all? But when I heard it the other day, I really thought about it. I've been thinking about it for weeks. The first thought I had was that I definitely would not be going to work on my last day alive. I would spend it with Kevin. He is my favorite person in the world and I would want to be with him.

A week or so later I heard another thing on the radio talking about Jesus coming back to earth. Then yesterday, in light of the recent severe earthquakes, Kevin in I were discussing if this could be the end times. I hear pastors preach often, that Jesus is coming back. That the time is near and we should be ready. I usually think that I'll reach my 70's, living a long life, until I see grandchildren and the iPod become lame and ancient. Then Jesus will come back. Or maybe he'll come after I'm long gone.

Yesterday I thought, "What if today was my last day on earth, because tomorrow Jesus comes back?"

I suddenly had deep compassion for everyone in my family who doesn't have a relationship with Jesus. I imagined myself in Heaven, asking Jesus where my father was and wondering if my brother was there. What if I got there and the people I love the most weren't there? Suddenly, I wanted to drive to WA right away and scream at them and tell them, that Jesus is the way, that he loves them and that they need him. Of course, if I ran up there and started screaming at them that they need Jesus, they'd probably all think I was nuts, judgemental and just plain mental. But at least I wouldn't die and be in heaven wondering where my family was.

I guess in the end I realized that I'm not praying with conviction or telling people about God's amazing grace as much as I want to. I need to change my attitude.

The reality is that Jesus will be coming back. And one day, it will be my last day on earth.


"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9

I know posts are supposed to be "reflective"

...and that reflective is often code for "criticizing myself"
...and I know that it's fun to analyze motives and rationale and what the text is "really saying"
...and wonder what God's will for you is
...but it's also kinda cool to look outside at rain (or whatever) and realize how lucky you are to have accepted Christ

No further analysis necessary

Who is God, who is man, and what can be done about it?

The title above was more or less our topic last night at home community. We read through some scripture and comments asserting that 1) God is perfect and holy, 2) humans are inherently flawed and unable to meet God's standards, and 3) God's grace is necessary to save us, through Christ.

Now, some thoughts per the challenge of my mouseketeer friend.

-The packet we read through reminded me of a five-step tract on steroids, though, the intent was to help us stay grounded in scripture rather than to be for direct evangelism. Forgive me if I'm projecting my own shortcomings here, but I was just thinking the other day that the American church on the whole does a poor job of staying close to God. What I mean is that we are taught, first of all, to separate our spiritual lives from the "secular" parts of life, but then we live in such luxury that these "secular" things surround us and demand all of our attention.

However, if we root ourselves in the Word (and the Spirit, thank you Jodi), then we can walk with God and tackle all of these things just the same. So I appreciate efforts (such as the one tonight) to seek a foundation of scripture.

-At one point the question was posed, essentially, "who are we to tell others that their religious beliefs are wrong?" I've heard this question a lot, and I don't like it. I'm not sure I would call it false humility, but it is something like that, and it misses the point.

We as Christians are remiss to give the gospel such low regard; instead of worrying about the nonbeliever's assumed rights and our own so-called judgmentalism, we should be asking, "who are we to hide the light that God has graciously given us?"

If we assume that hearing the gospel is a negative thing, if it's not actually good news, then of course we should be reluctant to tell other people that it is true. But scripture says that "the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

This, of course, is not telling us that we should hoard the gospel for ourselves, but pointing out that it is worth giving away your life for, and that we should be ecstatic to have it. So if we as Christians take the gospel for what it's really worth, we can't really question the validity of sharing it with others.

Where I tend to struggle on this point, and I think I see it in others, is that I've been camping out in that field with the treasure for awhile now, and sometimes the novelty wears off; and the gospel isn't quite so effective when you take it for granted.

-What is the role of the law for us as Christians? As Paul notes, it can lead us toward faith in Christ, but it does not necessarily lead us to faith, nor is it necessary for faith. "Now that the time
for faith is here," Paul concludes, "the Law is no longer in charge of us." Christ didn't come "to keep the law and teach us to do the same," he came to fulfil the law as the messiah and redeem us "from the curse that the law brings."

-Lastly, does God expect us to be perfectly holy and untainted by sin? Heck yes he does. Fortunately, Jesus took care of that for us. And that is good news.

God's strength

It's only 4pm and yet I've had one of the best days and one of the worst days in a while, all rolled into one.

This morning, when I arrived at work, I was able to see and hear Coblie Caillat and Five For Fighting live. At work. That was cool. They are so extremly talented that I am in awe of how God has created such beauty in a human voice. I was elated.

After that, I returned to the real world of work at my desk and received the final straw that broke the camel's back (in this story I am the camel and that back is mine). I was furios and contemplated what it would feel like to yell, "That's it! I've had it!" and storm out the door. But I didn't.

How is it that God has created me to have so many emotions all in one day? I know he is at work here, but I'm having a hard time hanging on to just that. I need more grace and more hope here. Father, help me.

So often, when God places a call on one of His children, it requires a separation between the old life and the new life. There is a time of being away from the old in order to prepare the heart for what is coming. It can be a painful and difficult separation. Joseph was separated from his family. Jacob was sent to live with his uncle Laban. Moses was sent to the desert.
- OS Hillman

I am hanging onto the hope that God has placed a special calling on my life. That he has a plan for me and this is just a tiny spec on the map that will be my life. In order to make it through this desert time, I must press into him. That is the key.

Psalm 105:4 - Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Freckles

Yet another detail I wouldn't have thought to include if I were in charge of creating the universe