Imago Dei Northwest

hi.

2011-02-18T18:51:00.000-08:00

is this thing still alive?
should it be ported to the digital grave of sites like friendster and geocities?

Jesus my Savior

2010-11-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

I was reading My Utmost for His Highest this morning (side note: I always want to say “upmost.” Doesn’t that make more sense? Who uses the word utmost anyways.) Well, Oswald said that one problem we have today is celebrating the person of Jesus and trying to imitate him as a kind and worthy person to imitate, but removing the focus away from his saving grace and how we desperately need his salvation. He is first our Saviour and second our Pattern for who we should be in the world.

This was particularly striking to me because my deepest prayer for the past six years has been “Lord, please make me more into the image of Christ.” I realized as I was reading MUfHH this morning that I have been very focused on becoming more Christ-like, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But I am no longer focusing on the fact that I have a deep need for a savior. We all do. This also ties in with Brian’s story and his message he gave last week at HC. It’s hard to need Christ when we don’t really need him. We think we’re fine on our own. However we all know that we cannot earn our own salvation. I know that Christ has paid the way for me. But sometimes I forget about that. I stop being thankful for that. And instead I focus on how I can get on with my spiritual maturation. This year, during Advent and Christmas, I hope I am able to grasp and remember deep down how truly blessed I am to have not only a Pattern, but also a Savior. Maybe this will become my new prayer.

Wondering if we give thanks the right way

2010-11-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

Peruse the internet for even seven seconds today and you'll see list upon list of things people are thankful for. I think you're likely aware of this.

What strikes me with these lists (and in my own) is how thankfulness tends to be expressed as a dichotomy (big word) towards another fate.

So,

You're thankful for family because not everyone has one

You're thankful for food because not everyone can eat today

You're thankful for warm clothing because there are people freezing outside

And so on.

What strikes me is in all these scenarios, we're not truly thankful until that thing is taken away from us. I mean, we can go through the motions of being thankful. It usually feels to me like 10% truth and 90% lip service. I find this problematic.

Let's extend this problem a little further:

Do we do the same thing with receiving God's grace? Where we only truly feel it when we've screwed something up?

I'm guessing the answer is 'yes' for most people. That seems messed up. God's grace is not reserved for people with extreme testimonies. As someone whose testimony tends toward the extreme side, I wish I'd been walking on the path since day one.

There's got to be a more accurate way of feeling thankful. There's got to be a better way of feeling God's grace.

My guess is we'd rather worship extreme situations and function in opposition to them. It's a much better story that way, right?

Introverts in church

2010-10-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

This short article posits that many Protestant churches have conflated spirituality with sociability, mistakenly making a situation where extraversion is good and introversion is bad. If the author is correct, then it might also have something to do with the lack of men in the church. Anyway, I'd be interested to hear what others think about the article.

A few bits of church history

2010-10-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

I heard an old college professor, Jerry Sittser, give some talks about church history this past weekend. Even though it happened in Vancouver, Washington (really, things happen there?), hearing Jerry lecture is usually a good idea, and it was a very worthwhile event. He talked about things from the first to the eighteenth century; here are a few things that stuck out to me:

-The early church catechumenate. Way back in the day, when the church was relatively just getting started, people didn't just start attending services. There was a long, involved training process for newbies where they were taught and discipled, tested for genuineness and eventually baptized and given the Eucharist. The whole thing sounds rather foreign--I mean, who gets "trained" when they become a Christian these days? But, really, we could do a better job in giving direction to new believers, and even not-so-new but immature ones.

-The church in the Middle Ages. Medieval Europe was basically a mess, literacy was low, and Bibles were scarce. This led to three things (yes, only three (just kidding)).

*First, the church developed a number of material, especially visual, aspects to faith. Go look up Gothic cathedral architecture sometime; the shape of the buildings, high ceilings, gargoyles, window placements, stained-glass salvation stories, it all had meaning and was meant to benefit the believer. And that's to say nothing of the images, songs, and other non-written features that the church employed. With the appreciation for (obsession with) various media (say, the internet) that our society has, sometimes I wonder if the church is really botching something important here. Obviously things have changed since Medieval times, and there is just a lot more media out there in general, and I'm not saying that we should move away from literacy, but it is an interesting topic to think about.

*Because of the illiteracy, etc., laypeople depended heavily on the monks and clergy, who prayed for them, sang for them, basically did everything for them. Granted, that probably wasn't an ideal situation, but what caught my attention was Jerry's empathy for those people. Jerry once dealt with the sudden deaths of his mother, wife, and daughter in a single car accident, an experience that was of course highly traumatic. In the aftermath, he says, he felt unable to pray or sing or do anything faith-related other than take communion. It's not that he stopped believing; he was just too tired, so he suspended belief, and the church carried him along, temporarily singing, praying, and believing for him. "And that," he says, "is when I understood the Medieval church for the first time." I don't know how that all works out theologically, but I think Jerry is on to something, and it's a good thought for those who might tend to expect too much from themselves.

*The vanguard of Medieval Christendom was the monastery. There are lots of things to say about the monks, but what caught my attention recently is that they 1) scheduled regular prayer into their days, and 2) did regular things in the context of their faith. I could be wrong, but it seems like a lot of people try to do more Christian things, when what they really need is to do things more Christianly. I was reminded of Brother Lawrence, a monk who talked about doing things like washing dishes as acts of worship. You don't have to be a monk to do that.

-In the revival that John and Charles Wesley were involved in, they had small groups. They were called "holy clubs." Just thought I would mention that.

-Also, I heard that Luther's Large Catechism is good reading. I haven't read it yet, but it might be worth checking out.

Self-awareness, Christ-awareness

2010-08-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was reading some thoughts from Oswald Chambers the other day that are actually related to my last post. He's being a little disjointed and mystical, but I like some of his ideas about how we view things. (Read the full texts here and here) He says:

Never allow anything that divides or destroys the oneness of your life with Christ to remain in your life without facing it. Beware of allowing the influence of your friends or your circumstances to divide your life. This only serves to sap your strength and slow your spiritual growth. Beware of anything that can split your oneness with Him, causing you to see yourself as separate from Him. Nothing is as important as staying right spiritually. And the only solution is a very simple one— “Come to Me . . . .” The intellectual, moral, and spiritual depth of our reality as a person is tested and measured by these words.

And again:

Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, “Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already.” Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute.

I appreciate Chambers' directness, and I like the way he characterizes closeness to Christ as "rest." I'm still chewing on the Christ-awareness-replacing-self-awareness part, but it seems to speak to the subject of self-definition that I raised in the previous post. If any of you have thoughts on this, I would love to hear them.

How do you define yourself?

2010-08-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

I heard a sermon a few weeks ago in which the pastor said that we shouldn't define ourselves by our failures. We have to let them go, he said. Discussing it afterward, a friend asked me if I think I do define myself that way or not. I don't really think I do, and I said so, but for some reason the topic still made me a little unsettled.

Well, I was thinking about it again the other day. I agree that we shouldn't define ourselves by our failures, and I still don't think I am in a habit of doing that, but I think I do define myself by my successes. And, looking around, it seems that we're taught to do that on a social level, and more or less innately want to on an individual level (I'm not going to try to prove that it's innate right now, but it makes sense, right?).

There are two problems here.

First, if you define yourself by successes and not failures, then your philosophy of self is incoherent. It can be both or neither, but picking one and leaving the other is invalid.

Second, and at least equally important, is that we, as Christians, are not supposed to define ourselves by our achievements. I know the Bible talks about crowns and whatnot in heaven, but success does not define us as much as we would like it to. This is difficult to come to terms with, at least for me, because even within the church, success correlates with rewards and praise, good things. And I want those good things to be mine. If the success is mine, then the rewards are mine as well, and suddenly I am defining myself by successes.

Obviously the answer is not to fail at everything, but to have a new perspective. And that is the hard part...

Proverbs by NWHC Members

2010-08-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the funny and life applicable proverbs we wrote last week.

Never wear pleated pants regardless of current fashion trends. You ill look back at pictures and regret that decision.

If you're one of those people that jogs in place at stop lights, knock it off, you're killin' the vibe.

Never underestimate the power for rich, chocolate Ovaltine.

If you need gas, get some before you run out.

A tear in your clothing never improves on its own. Attend to it immediately.

Try to find the positive in every situation.

When someone knocks on the bathroom door and you're in the tub, don't say "Come in."

An epic road trip reveals your true nature and who your real friends are.

Always leave your keys in the same place.

If you want long nails, you must stop biting them.

Double check the license plate before hot wiring your car.

If you fall in a well, don't' worry. Somebody is probably going to find you.

When someone is speeding and cuts you off they're probably on their way to the hospital to have a baby.

Soup is good food.

Do things quickly and walk away.

Do thinks quickly, without thinking and you will not be slowed down by doubt and worry.

Make a habit out of exaggerating your stories to the benefit of the main character.

Don't worry about what others may think... dance when you get the chance!

If you are physically sick about a decision/action you are about to take and your family and friends think it is a bad idea, don't do it!

When going downhill on a bike, you lose your brakes, try for the land speed record.

Sometimes "good enough" is just that, enough.

Don't start a fire in an occupied chimney.

Make peace with the songs that are in your head.

Squirrels who do not remember where they buried the acorns go hungry.

Remember the road you've come down so you can drive it in reverse.

In most cases plugging appliances in helps the process.

Peeling paint is like peeling skin after a sunburn. Once yous tart, it never stops.

Keep a running lawn mower only on grass to ensure only the lawn gets cut.

A well written pros and cons list is like a well balanced scale discerning the heart and desire.

If you want clean pants, don't feed a naked baby on your lap.

A bumper sticker has yet to change someones opinion.

Listen to people when they're talking to you.

Don't try to meet everyone expectations or you will find yourself wondering what yours are.

Thread your golden thread as you walk into the labyrinth and you will escape the mini fawn.

Your foot and a hammer do not have the same effect on a nail.

So remember your own history and you will not be lost when the path seems the same as before.

It is impossible to alert other cars your around when both your blinkers and horn are broken.

Learn to knock on the walls (or ceiling/floors) if your neighbors are being loud.

Food will not solve your problems or create happiness, but cheese comes awful close.

Stress and worry lead to gray hairs and wrinkles. Avoid both and it will be like finding the fountain of youth.

Pretend the driver who cut you off is blind and deaf.

Buying jeans a size too small as motivation is a bad idea. They never fit.

The terrible thing about patience is waiting.

Never name the animals in a town with no market.

Those who wear blue tooth while not on the phone are like finding the milk jug empty. They have the appearance of content but are only stale air.

Anything outrageous/dangerous that you are bribed to do for under $5 is not worth it.

It doesn't matter how simple a project seems on a house. It will always get more complicated.

Jaws is probably not waiting for you at the deep end of the pool.

Eat ice cream daily. It makes you happy.

Can't decide? Order the sampler.

Money always comes and goes. But hard work will bring it back again.

Don't wear socks in the kitchen if you don't like wet feet.

Like a man who stubbornly rocks a mullet, there comes a point where it is time to move on and embrace change.

Once the soles of your shoes have worn through it is necessary to use duct tape at least every three days. Otherwise - not water proof.

When being chased, run faster than the person chasing you. If this is not possible, hope you are dreaming.

Smile with your eyes...eventually something will happen.

Falling in love is harder than it looks. Remember to wear a helmet!

These are fun, funny, smart and all around wonderful! Great job everyone!!

the Rosses

2010-07-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

Mike and Jeannie Ross.

Making Waves

2010-07-19T14:35:00.001-07:00

I saw the waves this weekend. I went to the ocean. It was amazing and awe inspiring. The sound was loud. I've lived by the ocean my whole life. I've seen the ocean in so many parts of the world. But this weekend I saw the ocean. I mean the waves were so powerful. I looked at them crashing against the shore and thought that if I ever was caught in them, I could easily be killed. Those waves could end me.

But God is more powerful than those waves. He commands the ocean. So God can do miraculous things. God can heal the sick and cure the sadness and pacify the frustration.

Read this passage below from Jeremiah. God LOVES us. He loves me and he loves you. He chose you and has called you beloved. You are forgiven and He cannot see your sins. The Lord Almighty is his name.

How cool is that?

Jeremiah 31:33-35 (New International Version)

33 "This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel
after that time," declares the LORD.
"I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.

34 No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,'
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,"
declares the LORD.
"For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more."

35 This is what the LORD says,
he who appoints the sun
to shine by day,
who decrees the moon and stars
to shine by night,
who stirs up the sea
so that its waves roar—
the LORD Almighty is his name:

In times of distress

2010-06-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

Not too long after Kevin and I moved to Savannah, I experienced a time of extreme loneliness. Kevin was at school and studying all the time and I hadn't made good friends yet. I had just started a new job, not making enough money to pay bills and had months before been in El Salvador, then WA, then GA. I felt alone. Loneliness is how the devil gets to me. He tells me lies and I struggle, reminding myself that I shouldn't believe them.

During that time I began a Beth Moore study and she mentioned Psalm 20 and that it was perfect for times of distress. So I wrote it up on the wall and stuck it on the inside door of my closet. Often I would cry and I would go into the closet and shut the door and read this psalm. I would read it often and I would recite it aloud until I began to believe it.

God's word is powerful. It has transformed my life on many occasions. This is one time I needed His word and clung to it tightly. I was alone and felt desperate, but God was always there and clinging closely to me.

I hope this may help you in times of distress.

-Rachelle

Psalm 20

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah

4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!

Awareness

2010-05-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

Recently I saw a rather interesting and thought-provoking Washington Post article. I'll summarize, since it's a bit long.

Some Post journalists asked a famous virtuoso violinist to play in a D.C. Metro station, posing as a street musician for 45 minutes, just to see what would happen. So, he did, and since he's one of the world's best violin players, he selected some exceedingly complicated classical pieces to perform.

Almost no one paid him any attention. Nearly eleven hundred people walked by, and most didn't even look. Of course, he was at a commuter station on a weekday morning, so everyone had places to go and things to do, but that's kind of the point.

Would you have noticed?

Style

2010-04-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

I was in the women's restroom and this older lady said that my sweater was super cute. This older lady was wearing a primary colored plaid, polyester button up shirt with red pants, had lots of grey hair and huge glasses. So, my question is - shold I take her comment as a compliment?

Hi Friends

2010-03-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

We've started a new blog project, and you'll find it at http://nwpocketmuseproject.blogspot.com. We're using a new prompt from the book The Pocket Muse every two weeks as inspiration for creative writing. We post anonymously - no one knows who wrote which piece. We'll write stories, fiction, nonfiction, poetry, lists, or whatever else we feel inspired to write, all based on the same prompt. If you'd like more information on joining the project, see me. Or just sign up to follow and read along.

love.

Waiting for the MAX, a parable.

2010-03-11T20:11:00.000-08:00

This blog is brought to you by Karyn, Shannon, Annie, letter T, and the number 7.

Public transportation is hard.

You have to do a lot of things right. You have to get up on time. You have to manage to leave your house in one piece with everything you need, including your wallet. You have to arrive at the station with enough time to buy a ticket. You have know which direction you want to go and which train will take you there.

But even doing all these things doesn't guarantee you success, a lot of things can go wrong.

Sometimes, you wait and wait and wait and the MAX just doesn't show up. There's no announcement, no explanation, just that's it. The clock on the screen keeps changing and no train is in sight. This annoys you because you believed that if you did your part, showed up on time with ticket in hand the promised MAX would be there. The MAX is full of lies. You feel slighted and cheated and a little bit silly. You wonder if everyone else that is waiting knows something that you don't. You watch other people return to their cars or decide to walk and wonder if you should bail, too. But still you wait, confident that if you should leave, the MAX will arrive at the very moment you're too far away to run back to it.

Sometimes, the MAX shows up right on time. You, satisfied you, you board happily. You score a great seat. You pulled out the book you remembered to bring and you prepare yourself for the journey. Then, nothing happens. You're on the MAX but the MAX ain't movin' and you wait.

Sometimes, the MAX shows up earlier than you thought. You are not ready. The ticket machine won't print and you watch the train take off without you, maybe you wave.

Sometimes, you're halfway through your MAX trip and you realize it's not making the same stops it usually does. Something is terribly wrong. You blink twice and suddenly you're in Gresham, "what? how the heck did we get here?". Now you have to get off the MAX, turn around and start the whole process over in the other direction.

But sometimes, only sometimes, your train pulls in just when you're ready for it. You get a seat all to yourself. You don't even bother to open your book because you've hit the bridge just as the sun is coming up. Sometimes public transportation is reliable and easy and trustworthy and good.

So....which MAX are you on?

Computers are stupid

2010-03-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

So I was getting on the internet sometime around the beginning of the month, you know, checking the eeemail or whatever, and I noticed something strange: I was completely disconnected. (This is strange because my computer is set to automatically connect to the network when I'm at home.) When I tried to manually connect, it told me that the security key was wrong, or that the encryption type was wrong, or that the signal strength was low. I think the signal strength message was just to mock me, and altering the other two things manually made no difference. I input the correct information, and got the same messages. So now my computer was lying to me openly. What the fizz.

Turns out that when Mr. PC wanted me to check the security key, I was supposed to move to a different tab and check a box to "enable Atheros settings," a command I neither understand nor have ever un-checked in the first place. That, plus disabling then enabling my wireless device (again), resetting the router (again), and re-typing the security key for about the fifteenth time, finally "resolved" the "problem." Obviously.

In the meantime, I've been listening a lot lately to a guy named Shane Claiborne. He has worked for Mother Teresa and Willow Creek, helped found an urban Christian community in Philadelphia, and written a number of books, among other things. It's easy to see that he's different (when he spoke at church I kept staring at his homemade pants, which look very much like regular pants, only backwards), but one of the things that most impressed me about him was his willingness to move past cynicism.

Cynycism and I go way back. Runs in the family, I guess. It seems pretty popular in Portland, too. Claiborne says that cynicism doesn't take a lot of energy, and I agree at least that it can be easy to default to once you get in the habit.

The thing is, you will never run out of things to be negative and annoyed about, if you are in the business of being negative and annoyed. Life is full of potential aggravations. Like computers. But your angry response is not predetermined; like it says in that one TV show, you always have a choice. Choose life.

Last day on earth

2010-03-01T09:56:00.001-08:00

I was driving to work a few weeks ago, listening to the radio and one of the Christian stations posed the hypothetical question, "What would you do if today was your last day on earth?" Now I've heard this question before. Haven't we all? But when I heard it the other day, I really thought about it. I've been thinking about it for weeks. The first thought I had was that I definitely would not be going to work on my last day alive. I would spend it with Kevin. He is my favorite person in the world and I would want to be with him.

A week or so later I heard another thing on the radio talking about Jesus coming back to earth. Then yesterday, in light of the recent severe earthquakes, Kevin in I were discussing if this could be the end times. I hear pastors preach often, that Jesus is coming back. That the time is near and we should be ready. I usually think that I'll reach my 70's, living a long life, until I see grandchildren and the iPod become lame and ancient. Then Jesus will come back. Or maybe he'll come after I'm long gone.

Yesterday I thought, "What if today was my last day on earth, because tomorrow Jesus comes back?"

I suddenly had deep compassion for everyone in my family who doesn't have a relationship with Jesus. I imagined myself in Heaven, asking Jesus where my father was and wondering if my brother was there. What if I got there and the people I love the most weren't there? Suddenly, I wanted to drive to WA right away and scream at them and tell them, that Jesus is the way, that he loves them and that they need him. Of course, if I ran up there and started screaming at them that they need Jesus, they'd probably all think I was nuts, judgemental and just plain mental. But at least I wouldn't die and be in heaven wondering where my family was.

I guess in the end I realized that I'm not praying with conviction or telling people about God's amazing grace as much as I want to. I need to change my attitude.

The reality is that Jesus will be coming back. And one day, it will be my last day on earth.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9

I know posts are supposed to be "reflective"

2010-02-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

...and that reflective is often code for "criticizing myself"
...and I know that it's fun to analyze motives and rationale and what the text is "really saying"
...and wonder what God's will for you is
...but it's also kinda cool to look outside at rain (or whatever) and realize how lucky you are to have accepted Christ

No further analysis necessary

Who is God, who is man, and what can be done about it?

2010-01-13T11:53:00.001-08:00

The title above was more or less our topic last night at home community. We read through some scripture and comments asserting that 1) God is perfect and holy, 2) humans are inherently flawed and unable to meet God's standards, and 3) God's grace is necessary to save us, through Christ.

Now, some thoughts per the challenge of my mouseketeer friend.

-The packet we read through reminded me of a five-step tract on steroids, though, the intent was to help us stay grounded in scripture rather than to be for direct evangelism. Forgive me if I'm projecting my own shortcomings here, but I was just thinking the other day that the American church on the whole does a poor job of staying close to God. What I mean is that we are taught, first of all, to separate our spiritual lives from the "secular" parts of life, but then we live in such luxury that these "secular" things surround us and demand all of our attention.

However, if we root ourselves in the Word (and the Spirit, thank you Jodi), then we can walk with God and tackle all of these things just the same. So I appreciate efforts (such as the one tonight) to seek a foundation of scripture.

-At one point the question was posed, essentially, "who are we to tell others that their religious beliefs are wrong?" I've heard this question a lot, and I don't like it. I'm not sure I would call it false humility, but it is something like that, and it misses the point.

We as Christians are remiss to give the gospel such low regard; instead of worrying about the nonbeliever's assumed rights and our own so-called judgmentalism, we should be asking, "who are we to hide the light that God has graciously given us?"

If we assume that hearing the gospel is a negative thing, if it's not actually good news, then of course we should be reluctant to tell other people that it is true. But scripture says that "the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

This, of course, is not telling us that we should hoard the gospel for ourselves, but pointing out that it is worth giving away your life for, and that we should be ecstatic to have it. So if we as Christians take the gospel for what it's really worth, we can't really question the validity of sharing it with others.

Where I tend to struggle on this point, and I think I see it in others, is that I've been camping out in that field with the treasure for awhile now, and sometimes the novelty wears off; and the gospel isn't quite so effective when you take it for granted.

-What is the role of the law for us as Christians? As Paul notes, it can lead us toward faith in Christ, but it does not necessarily lead us to faith, nor is it necessary for faith. "Now that the time
for faith is here," Paul concludes, "the Law is no longer in charge of us." Christ didn't come "to keep the law and teach us to do the same," he came to fulfil the law as the messiah and redeem us "from the curse that the law brings."

-Lastly, does God expect us to be perfectly holy and untainted by sin? Heck yes he does. Fortunately, Jesus took care of that for us. And that is good news.

God's strength

2009-12-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

It's only 4pm and yet I've had one of the best days and one of the worst days in a while, all rolled into one.

This morning, when I arrived at work, I was able to see and hear Coblie Caillat and Five For Fighting live. At work. That was cool. They are so extremly talented that I am in awe of how God has created such beauty in a human voice. I was elated.

After that, I returned to the real world of work at my desk and received the final straw that broke the camel's back (in this story I am the camel and that back is mine). I was furios and contemplated what it would feel like to yell, "That's it! I've had it!" and storm out the door. But I didn't.

How is it that God has created me to have so many emotions all in one day? I know he is at work here, but I'm having a hard time hanging on to just that. I need more grace and more hope here. Father, help me.

So often, when God places a call on one of His children, it requires a separation between the old life and the new life. There is a time of being away from the old in order to prepare the heart for what is coming. It can be a painful and difficult separation. Joseph was separated from his family. Jacob was sent to live with his uncle Laban. Moses was sent to the desert.
- OS Hillman

I am hanging onto the hope that God has placed a special calling on my life. That he has a plan for me and this is just a tiny spec on the map that will be my life. In order to make it through this desert time, I must press into him. That is the key.

Psalm 105:4 - Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Freckles

2009-11-27T16:36:00.000-08:00

Yet another detail I wouldn't have thought to include if I were in charge of creating the universe

Broke of Soul

2009-11-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

By request, here is the "call to worship" that I wrote for Nov. 22:

Broke of Soul

I am surrounded by poverty.

I hear it in the clank of the coins in that old man’s can. I feel it in the woman’s wrinkled, scaly hands. I see it in those big and youthful, starving brown eyes.

These images form a single bleak picture that hangs on the walls of my heart. But if this picture is reality, then I do not know poverty. For this picture is Xeroxed from my world; it is not my actual world.

My poverty is not “out there.” It is “in here” … and it is abominable. I taste it in the bitter bite of apathy. I smell it in the stench of my stale heart. I drown in its waves of raging indifference.

Oh, Lord! I gasp for Your presence!

Would You save me from cheap, hollow distractions? Deafen my ears to the beckoning snap of the dollar bill; I want instead to hear the crack of my own heart as You reposition it rightly before You. Would You blind me to gold, glitz, and glamour? I want instead to see Your peace, justice, and faithfulness. Would You restore feeling where I am numbed by self-preservation? Oh that You would melt me with the wildfire of Your compassion!

You give me air, life, and breath that I might receive growth, promise, and hope. These lifesprings well up and bubble over. They tickle. They shine. They last. You, oh God, pour out your riches without measure. And I? I receive them without hesitation. For it is the treasures of Your abiding presence, oh Lord, that make whole my broken soul.

Live and learn

2009-11-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

I heard the sermon on Sunday. And afterwards, I thought to myself that he was right. Poverty cannot be solved just by shoving material goods at people. The definition of poverty is not a lack of stuff, but a lack of a Savior. That good deeds without the Word is not effective. We must also tell people about King Jesus, not just offer them stuff. I was inspired! For about ten minutes. Then I said to Kevin, "I really want to have matching plates for Thanksgiving. Right now I have 5 blue plates and 4 white plates. Plus, they're ugly and chipped. I would like to get some new plates." My smart husband reminded me of the sermon we had just heard, and I cringed. How is it, that I can learn something, just to loose the lesson five minutes later?

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

What are your overheads?

2009-11-19T22:56:00.000-08:00

You know how the grocery stores rearrange their stock every now and then, just to make you wander around and look at things? It's so disorienting, walking down the aisle to exactly where the shredded wheat lives, to suddenly come face-to-face with nothing but creamed corn and that soft, over-salted asparagus in the skinny cans. Certainly this isn't a customer-friendly practice, but they keep doing it, so I assume it generates some revenue.

I wonder if God doesn't do the same thing with us sometimes, when we start heading for the cereal aisle every time we walk in the door, because he knows that if he doesn't shake things up, we'll completely miss a lot of the great things he's made available for us.

This is not to say you should buy the creamed corn; it's just a reminder to be aware of God's bottom line as we attend to our routines, because he has so much more in store for us than we realize.

Sugar!

2009-11-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how practically everything is "like crack"? I'm going to apologize ahead of time for being hopelessly cliché. I just had this realization, though--sugar really is like crack!

Observe: common refined sugar.
Now, when I say it's like crack, I'm not referring only to its alleged ad dictive properties (though it is a convenient parallel); mostly I was thinking of the fact that the street drug and the sweetener share an uncanny resemblance as white, powdery substances, and the unfortunate truth that both provide a happy little "fix" while ultimately serving as a detriment to your health.

Crack, of course, is an illegal narcotic, but while sugar is getting some bad press lately, it remains deeply entrenched in our culture. Consider the phrase, "American as apple pie," for example. What makes an apple pie? A good crust, fruit, and lots of sugar. The stuff is all over the place in our traditions, our artistic expressions, and our everyday life.

Now, before this turns into an anti-sugar essay, let me say that sugar represents a common trend in America and in my own life, where we pursue things simply because they taste so good. We even, from time to time, try to convince ourselves that it's healthy. But we only try to do that because we know it's not. Meanwhile, our society is so wrapped up in a hedonistic paradigm that turning away just seems weird.

Enter Dr. Jerry Sittser. I had the opportunity to hear Jerry speak briefly yesterday, and he reminded me of a phenomenon that I hadn't thought about in awhile. Back in the day, (we're talking fourth century A.D., not the 1980's) droves of people ditched civilization completely and went to live in Middle Eastern deserts, where they battled demons, ate dates, and sat on pillars in isolation, all ostensibly with the goal of seeking God. I've always been a little skeptical of the "desert fathers" myself, but I think we can learn a lot from them about the value of discipline.

Asceticism was highly regarded in that time and region as a means to escape corrupt culture and foster spirituality; it seems strange to us, what those people were doing, and accordingly we as the church in America have largely turned our backs on the materially spare lifestyle they modeled. We don't even really use the term "asceticism" anymore, at least not for normal people. It's more the domain of hairless vegetarian Tibetans and extreme protesters.

This all might be another symptom of the somewhat misguided quest for cultural relevance, but it might also be due to our own purchase of the line everyone is trying to sell us--you should try to "get yours" (it's the American dream! The American way!) as long as you don't, you know, go overboard with it (everything in moderation!). We're blessed and God wants us to be happy, so the only limit to our excess is our own ability to justify it.

At this point I've written well past my intended stopping point, but suffice it to say that my life is probably built around the pursuit of superficial gratification more than I realize, and it's probably doing me less good than I think (and I suspect that I am not alone in this).

As a friend of mine once said, "I had a hatchet in one hand, and a drink in the other; it really was all about pleasure." It's an apt metaphor, I think; it's just what we do, and unfortunately it's hard to work for God when your hands are so occupied.

God transforming my attitude

2009-11-04T08:39:00.001-08:00

I just read this and thought it was an AMAZING story. God is so powerful and is always working around me. I believe I have the job that I have because God has a purpose in it. Maybe that's why you have the job you have.

I hope it inspires you.

-Rachelle

Transforming Your Workplace By Os Hillman
November 4

This, then, is how you should pray: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven..." (Matthew 6:9-10).

What would your workplace look like if this prayer were answered today where you work?

"Transformation" is a powerful word. Just hearing it, you almost automatically think of radical conversions and incredible change. But is it possible to transform your workplace into something Christ-like? Jesus thinks so.

One example involves a story told in Ed Silvoso's book, Anointed for Business, about a Filipino business man who owned a hotel chain. God saved this man and began an amazing transformation in his life and his large scale hotel.

The man owned a 1600-room hotel that covered three buildings. Because of its rates and location, the hotel had become a haven for prostitution, with the rooms being used as much as five times a day. There were over 2000 employees, and the primary clientele were more than 3000 prostitutes.
One of Silvoso's associates shared with the owner a formula for winning the lost, so he hired 40 pastors and told them to follow these instructions: a. Speak peace to the wolves. Bless those who curse you. b. Eat and drink with the sinners. Become their friends. c. Pray for them and their needs. The pastors were not to share the gospel until they'd met these three requirements for two years. What an investment. But ultimately, it paid off.

The pastors followed these three rules and saw every single one of the 2,000 employees become saved. The hotel was upgraded to an executive level, raising the rates and forcing the prostitutes out because they could no longer afford it. They even added a prayer chapel with 24/7 prayer available to anyone by dialing '7' on the telephone. Two years later, 10,000 guests had received the Lord on the property.*

That's transformation! And that's the kind of transformation we can see in our workplaces. We just have to find the vision and the willingness to ask God, "Lord, what wilt Thou have me do?"

*Adapted from story in Anointed for Business, Ed Silvoso, Regal Books, Ventura, CA 2006.

Contact Os Hillman at marketplaceleaders.org

Pulling a Rachelle

2009-10-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Re-reading this book that I love this week called Messy Spirituality: God's Annoying Love for Imperfect People by Mike Yaconelli, I came across this bit that I thought was also pretty relevant to last Tuesday's HC.

What keeps many of us from growing is not sin but speed.
Most of us are going as fast as we can, living life at a dizzying speed, and God is nowhere to be found. We're not rejecting God; we just don't have time for him. We've lost him in the blurred landscape as we rush to church. We don't struggle with the Bible, but with the clock. It's not that we're too decadent; we're too busy. We don't feel guilty because of sin, but because we have no time for our spouses, our children, or our God. It's not sinning too much that's killing our souls, it's our schedule that's annihilating us. Most of us don't come home at night staggering drunk. Instead, we come home staggering tired, worn out, exhausted, and drained because we live too fast.

Speed is not neutral. Fast living used to mean a life of debauchery; now it just means fast, but the consequences are even more serious. Speeding through life endangers our relationships and our souls.

Voices surround us, always telling us to move faster. It may be our boss, our pastor, our parents, our wives, our husbands, our politicians, or, sadly, even ourselves. So we comply. We increase the speed. We live life in the fast lane because we have no slow lanes anymore. Every lane is fast, and the only comfort our culture can offer is more lanes and increased speed limits. The result? Too many of us are running as fast as we can, and an alarming number of us are running much faster than we can sustain.

Speed damages our souls because living fast consumes every ounce of our energy. Speed has a deafening roar that drowns out the whispering voices of our souls and leaves Jesus as a diminishing speck in the rear view mirror.

Spiritual growth is not running faster, as in more meetings, more Bible studies, and more prayer meetings. Spiritual growth happens when we slow our activity down. If we want to meet Jesus, we can't do it on the run. If we want to stay on the road of faith, we have to hit the brakes, pull over to a rest area, and stop. Christianity is not about inviting Jesus to speed through life with us; it's about noticing Jesus sitting at the rest stop.

While the church earnestly warns Christians to watch for the devil, the devil is sitting in the congregation encouraging everyone to keep busy doing "good things." I just received a letter from a woman minister who was on the edge of crashing and burning. She and her family had joined a growing, active church and quickly volunteered to help. But two years later, she realized that her entire family was speeding by each other in unrestrained zeal to lead one activity or another at church every week.

"Run faster!" this woman's church bulletin screamed, but the only way she could save her soul from death was to slow down, which meant finding a new job.

Sin does not always drive us to drink; more often it drives us to exhaustion. Tiredness is equally as debilitating as drunkenness. Burnout is slang for an inner tiredness, a fatigue of our souls. Jesus came to forgive all our sins, including the sin of busyness. The problem with growth in the modern church is not the slowness of growth but the rushing of growth.

Jesus came to give us rest.

We know we are ready for God to work in our lives when we're tired. When our lives begin to weigh us down, God is present in the heaviness. It turns out that it's weariness that's next to godliness, because when our souls are tired, we are able to hear his voice, and according to Matthew 11:28, what he's saying is "Come. Rest."

The ugly truth, however, is that many of us do not know how to rest.

Actually, we do know how to rest; we simply refuse to rest. Rest is a decision we make. Rest is choosing to do nothing when we have too much to do, slowing down when we feel pressure to go faster, stopping instead of starting. Rest is listening to our weariness and responding to our tiredness, not to what is making us tired. Rest is what happens when we say one simple word: "No!" Rest is the ultimate humiliation, because in order to rest, we must admit we are not necessary, that the world can get along without us, that God's work does not depend on us. Once we understand how unnecessary we are, only then might we find the right reasons to decide to be with Jesus instead of working for him. Only then might we have the courage to take a nap with Jesus.

love.

In light of our discussion last night

2009-10-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/18717-give-it-a-rest

Great article talking about the Sabbath and taking time to rest.

"Why Guys Aren't Asking You Out"

2009-10-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

In light of discussions around dating and relationships at home community and in last week's sermon, I just wanted to post a link to my friend (well, friend of a friend-i've never met the guy) Andy's blog. He's a single late twenties or early thirties guy and he wrote a series on his blog titled "Why Guys Aren't Asking You Out", now there's a catchy title... It was supposed to be one or two posts long but it ended up stretching into nine posts as the discussion got going (the link to each part is in the upper right corner of his blog page), but I would recommend reading one or two or all of them. My eyes were opened to other perspectives and reasons for why we are the way we are and why dating gets so dang complicated sometimes. He talks about verses that many look to to support singleness or marriage as well as social and cultural reasons for lack of dating in many church communities. And, he's hysterical and fun to read.

Since the whole topic of dating and relationships can't possibly be covered in two home community meetings, I thought I'd stretch out the conversation into the blogosphere...I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on Andy's blog. Check it out!

Oceans from the Rain

2009-10-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, this video is, well, it's, um, special. However, I love this oldie-but-goody song, and so does my iPod lately, so I thought I'd share it with you. It's a great rainy morning listen, if you're into that whole "literal" thing. :)

love.

Your gift to Golda

2009-10-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

Proof that I delivered your gift to her without stealing any of the candy, although I was sorely tempted. She gave me a pack of Skittles, because she's cool like that.

Olly-olly-oxen-free

2009-10-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Note: Again, these are not words of my own, but dang are they good and worth sharing. At Refuge last night, Ben shared his testimony and some words from this book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. I just ate it up and had goosebumps by the end of the story.

In our culture, I think we've learned to hide ourselves and some of us are all too good at it..it's time to get found.

In the early dry dark of an October’s Saturday evening, the neighborhood children are playing hide-and-seek. How long since I played hide-and-seek? Thirty years; maybe more. I remember how. I could become part of the game in a moment, if invited. Adults don’t play hide-and-seek. Not for fun, anyway. Too bad.

Did you ever have a kid in your neighborhood who always hid so good, nobody could find him? We did. After a while we would give up on him and go off, leaving him to rot wherever he was. Sooner or later he would show up, all mad because we didn’t keep looking for him. And we would get mad back because he wasn’t playing the game the way it was supposed to be played. There’s hidingfinding , we’d say. And he’d say it was hide-and-seek, not hide-and-give-UP, and we’d yell about who made the rules and who cared about who, anyway, and how we wouldn’t play with him anymore if he didn’t get it straight and who needed him anyhow, and things like that. Hide-and-seek-and-yell. No matter what, though, the next time he would hide too good again. He’s probably still hidden somewhere, for all I know. and there’s

As I write this, the neighborhood game goes on, and there is a kid under a pile of leaves in the yard just under my window. He has been there a long time now, and everybody else is found and they are about to give up on him over at the base. I considered going out to the base and telling them where he was hiding. And I thought about setting the leaves on fire to drive him out. Finally, I yelled, “GET FOUND, KID!” out the window. And scared him so bad he probably wet his pants and started crying and ran home to tell his mother. It’s real hard to know how to be helpful sometimes.

A man I know found out last year he had terminal cancer. He was a doctor. And knew about dying, and he didn’t want to make his family and friends suffer through that with him. So he kept his secret. And died. Everybody said how brave he was to bear his suffering in silence and not tell anybody, and so on and so forth. But privately his family and friends said how angry they were that he didn’t need them, didn’t trust their strength. And it hurt that he didn’t say goodbye.

He hid too well. Getting found would have kept him in the game. Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found. “I don’t want anyone to know.” “What will people think?” “I don’t want to bother anyone.”

Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is IT goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found.

Medieval theologians even described God is hide-an-seek terms, calling him Deus Absconditus. But me, I think old God is a Sardine player. And will be found the same way everybody gets found in Sardines – by the sound of laughter of those heaped together at the end.

“Olly-olly-oxen-free.” The kids out in the street are hollering the cry that says “Come on in, wherever you are. It’s a new game.” And so say I. To all those who have hid too good. Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.

Robert Fulghum – All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Only You Can Love Me This Way

2009-09-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

So I think last time I posted, or maybe the time before, I was "pulling a Shannon." This time, I'm totally "pulling a Mike."

We talked a couple weeks ago about how or where we experience God in our daily lives. I didn't quite get around to mentioning another big God place for me: my car. As much as I hate driving, I tend to have major God moments in my car. More specifically, I tend to think that God is speaking to me through my radio.

I realize that God using the radio to communicate with Karyn is crazy people talk, but haven't you ever been stalked by a song? You get in the car and the song is playing. You change the station, and there it is again. You leave your car and enter a store - there's the song. You leave the store and get back in the car only to catch the DJ announcing the next song... surprise surprise... same dang song. This happens to me more often then I care to admit. Today, I'm being stalked by Jesus and Keith Urban.

I'm pretty sure that Keith Urban doesn't know he has a worship song out. But this song of his, the latest one, it breaks my heart. The lyrics are simple, and lovely, and the melody is perfect and pretty and sing-a-longy. It has become my mantra and my prayer today, and I thought I'd share the chorus and second verse with you:

You're always in my heart
You're always on my mind
And when it all becomes too much
You're never far behind
And there's no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
'Cause only you can love me this way

I could've turned a different corner
I could've gone another place
But I'd a-never had this feeling
That I feel today

Cause you're always in my heart
You're always on my mind
And when it all becomes too much
You're never far behind
And there's no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
'Cause only you can love me this way

Right? Dude. It's my new favorite thing. Go get it stuck in your head too.

How awesome is it that no matter how alone or unlovable we feel, we are loved completely by a God who knows all of our darkest parts? To be loved this way... wholly, selflessly, magnificently loved... we are lucky, lucky kids. I'm grateful today for God FM, Keith Urban, and agape love.

Oh, wait, here's my last "pulling a Mike" bit:

Cool? Cool.

:)

Prayer = direction = more prayer = revival

2009-09-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

I recently signed up for "daily workplace insirpational" emails. They are called "Today God Is First" and it's a good reminder to me that I should make God my priority, even at work.

Today's inspirational nugget was about this man in 1857 who prayed a simple prayer, "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?" He basically had a mid-life crisis and didn't want to keep pursuing money like everyone around him. So he prayed. And God answered his prayer.

He began a noon prayer meeting in the middle of New York City. The first day, no one showed up for the first 30 minutes. But 35 minutes past the hour, three people came. This noon-day prayer event lead to 10,000 people meeting for prayer 6 months later and one of the greatest spiritual revivals in US history.

Some days I don't know what to pray. And I think I'm going to start with "God, what do you want me to do?"

What if we all prayed that prayer? To quote Leisha, "I'm just sayin..."

____
Below is the whole article. To sign up for daily workplace inspirational emails visit marketplaceleaders.org
____

Staying the Course By Os Hillman
September 23

"Then the angel of the LORD ordered Gad to tell David to go up and build an altar to the LORD on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite. So David went up in obedience to the word that Gad had spoken in the name of the LORD" (1 Chron 21:18-19).

In 1857, an American businessman named Jeremiah Lanphier was sent out by his local church to begin a noon-day prayer meeting on Fulton Street, right around the corner from Wall Street in New York City. A simple prayer, a willing heart, and an act of obedience resulted in city transformation throughout the United States.

However, at that very first meeting, no one showed up in the first 35 minutes. But Jeremiah waited. Gradually, six people wandered into the room at 35 minutes past the hour. Six months later, 10,000 people were meeting for prayer throughout New York City. This led to one of the greatest spiritual renewals in the United State's history.

What would have happened if Lanphier had decided to abandon the idea after 30 minutes?
In a small, darkened room, in the back of one of New York City's lesser churches, a man prayed alone. His request of God was simple, but earth-shattering: "Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?" He was a man approaching midlife, without a wife or family, but he had financial means. He had made a decision to reject the "success syndrome" that drove the city's businessmen and bankers. God used this businessman to turn New York City's commercial empire on its head. He began a businessmen's prayer meeting on September 23, 1857.

The meetings began slowly, but within a few months 20 noonday meetings were convening daily throughout the city. Thousands met to pray because one man stepped out. This was an extraordinary move of God through one man.*

It only takes one man or woman who is willing to be obedient to be used by God to impact a workplace, city, or even an entire nation. Simple obedience can lead to things you cannot imagine. Are you willing to be used by God?

*John Woodbridge,., More than Conquerors: Portraits of Believers from All Walks of Life
(Chicago, IL: Moody Press, 1992), p. 337.

Contact Os Hillman at http://www.crosswalkmail.com/ueqjddwmdc_hgbywwkbdwj.html.

Some thoughts from Clive Staples

2009-09-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite pieces from C.S. Lewis; it's in The Weight of Glory. Evidently, he was not a hard-line Calvinist. Anyway, I like the way he imparts significance on every person, and all of our daily interactions, with an eternal perspective.

"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or another of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat--the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."

Gifts and me

2009-08-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this whole spiritual gifts and the body of Christ thing. Every now and then I get a person (usually a young person) who would love to be in my shoes, and asks me "How did you know that this is what God wanted you to do?" I usually tell them that I came into work one day and the Holy Spirit had left a memo on my desk outlining what I was meant to do, but they don't usually think that's as funny as I do (which equals the story of my life, just ask Mike P).

In reality, for most of my life I had no concrete concept of a larger plan for my life. I believed that God had a purpose for my life, and I always hoped that it was more than just a paycheck and working in the church, but I really had no idea what that might look like or how I might get there.

I've taken several spiritual gifts tests over the years, but there's no "spiritual career path" for a combination of leadership, administrative helps, and compassion. I was frustrated at the lack of direction in using my gifts effectively, so I started saying yes to a bunch of different opportunities as they came up, regardless if I could say "I'm gifted in this area" or not.

As a result of that, I am now in a position that uses all of my gifts, and in saying yes to all of those little things, I see how well that prepared me for where I am now. I can look ahead at a job of dealing with kids of all ages, and see how God was preparing me to appreciate every stage of child development through saying yes to those opportunities.

All this to say that being faithful in service to the body of Christ may be how God is preparing us for an opportunity to serve in that area where we are perfectly designed to affect the lives of people around us.

Just sayin'.

Annoyance

2009-08-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'll say it here for the last time: Matthew 6:21 does not by any means instruct Christians to give their money to worthy causes.

In fact, it says nothing about our use of money at all.

It seems clear from the two preceding verses that Jesus is contrasting "treasures on earth" with "treasures in heaven." He is not particularly excited about the earthly ones--such as money and anything it can buy. So, the refrain "where your treasure is, there you heart will be also" is not a budgeting dictate, because Jesus is telling us to invest in eternal treasures and to abandon sublunary ones. Unfortunately, some Christians like to use this verse as an slogan for financial management and charitable donations. These are wonderful things, obviously, but such thinking entirely misses the point of the verse; instead it ironically encourages us to be even more concerned about our money, putting us in danger of doing precisely what Jesus tells us not to do in the verse. Please stop misusing scripture. That is all.

Geography of Redemption

2009-08-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

Again, falling upon words that are not my own...but wow, good.

"There is a geography to redemption, a way in which the ideals of
grace and renewal make themselves real in this world. All of creation
is groaning for its redemption, and we join in that chorus. We are
surrounded on all sides by the forest of our failures, our dirty feet
fighting the thorny underbrush. Or we wander the used-up cities of
cement dreams and strip-mall seductions. This is where we live. But to
us who are weary and broken, the God of redemption gives the plains,
and a view of the land we have yet to claim, yet to sow, yet to reap.
Here, there is space, and a chance, to make all things new...The land
of redemption, where signs of promise abound, where the reptiles
witness, where the rocks cry out, and where hope stretches as far as
the lazy eye can see. This is where we, with trembling hands, toil and
subdue. and where the rain of grace pounds the dirt until life breaks
through the mud and reaches for the sun..."-Caedmon's Call

I'm not sure how this happened

2009-08-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

...but I've turned from the sour, pseudo-depressed and confused man of high school and college into someone who is legitimately happy.

Thanks, God

"Setting your mind on the things of God"

2009-07-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Mark where Jesus famously rebukes Peter with the famous "Get behind me Satan!" line. However, it's the second part of this sentence that hit me: For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of men.

Why have I never noticed this before? I think there's a tendency to equate Satan only to the really, really capital-e Evil things of the world. Fact of the matter is, whenever we're setting our mind on the things of men, we're listening to Satan.

(Sidenote: does anyone else feel weird capitalizing the S in Satan?)

Every day I pray to be a better man. What that probably means is setting my eyes on the things of God. One of the best things I've done this year was to fast on Good Friday this year. It was the first time I ever fasted and helped my faith tremendously. Whenever I felt hungry, there was a simple solution: think of the Lord. Every single time, the hunger went away.

Set your mind on the things of God...let Him put your hunger (or whatever) away

Interesting Article

2009-07-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Here is an interesting article from USA today. It talks about the Portland Season of Service.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2009/07/evangelism-20-.html

Your anti-self

2009-07-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

Karyn and I were discussing this a bit ago, based on a question from the game "Would You Rather". What would your anti-self, your nemesis, the photo negative of who you are be like? Would your nemesis be evil or good, dedicated or flaky, dirty or clean, rich or poor? Would he/she be a loner or not? What would be his/her motivating principle, goal, or world view?

See comments for my nemesis' description and leave your own.

From Oswald Chambers

2009-07-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from My Utmost For His Highest (I'm cheating and using the one for May 25). I'm not so sure about the "good" and "best" part, but overall I like his train of thought.

"If thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left." Genesis 13:9

As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and luxurious prospects will open up before you, and these things are yours by right; but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God choose for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the right and proper thing to consider if you were not living a life of faith; but if you are are, you will joyfully waive your right and leave God to choose for you. This is the discipline by means of which the natural is transformed into the spiritual by obedience to the voice of God.

Whenever right is made the guidance in the life, it will blunt the spiritual insight. the great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. It would seem the wisest thing in the world for Abraham to choose, it was his right, and the people around would consider him a fool for not choosing. Many of us do not go on spiritually because we prefer to choose what is right instead of relying on God to choose for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eye on God. "Walk before Me."

Nothing to say

2009-07-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

Why doesn't anyone appreciate silence anymore?

Standard Operating Procedure

2009-06-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

This American Life was about "Fall Guys" this week, and one of the stories was about Lynndie England, the woman who was in the most publicized of the photos that came out of the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. The interview of Lynndie England was taken from material gathered for the movie "Standard Operating Procedure", a documentary that came out last year.

I always tried to avoid thinking about Abu Ghraib too much. The photos repulsed and enraged me, and made me ashamed to be an American. After hearing the interview with Ms. England, I decided to watch the film, get a little more perspective and understanding. I suppose I got both, but I also ended up with a lot more questions.

The filmmakers interviewed most of the people who appear in the photos, as well as a civilian contractor who was in the prison at times and a few other people.

It's gut-wrenching to hear these people, some of whom it's easy to have sympathy for, describing what happened in each photo. They can all justify what happened, especially as they were "just following orders". They saw the detainees as criminals and terrorists at best, and sub-human at worst. They saw themselves as defending our freedoms as Americans, as watching the backs of their "battle buddies", as protecting their own lives in a war zone.

I wish I could just write them off as psychotic villians or hapless victims, but they're neither. If I put myself in their shoes, can I reasonably say I would have protested? I can say with confidence that I would not have participated, but to hear them explain "I was just taking the picture" or "they just told me to jump in the photo" or "I didn't really know what they were doing, so I didn't say anything"...can I really say that I would be stronger or braver than that?

When I see injustice around me on a less dramatic scale, am I strong and brave enough? Or, as Derek Webb sings, "I don't know the sufferings of people outside my front door, and I join the oppressors of those I choose to ignore. I'm trading comfort for human life, and that's not just murder, it's suicide, and this too shall be made right."

Redoing it

2009-06-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes on Facebook, people will write things on my wall, or comment elsewhere after me, and then delete the post. It disappears, but the funny thing is that I still get an email telling me what they wrote.

I empathize with those people. I've long wished for the ability to take mulligans in life--I did as a two-year-old when I dropped my water pistol off the front deck just to watch it fall, then later when my brother and I were kings of the Tandy Color Computer, and getting it right in a game often entailed multiple restarts, and later again in college as I tried to figure out how to run a good cross-country race. And yes, most of the time in between, I had the same wish. But the problem with reality is, even if you ignore it, it doesn't go away; and the reality is, whatever happens can't be taken back. It's just history. Granted, I like history, but this principle of irrevocable linear reality still frustrates me.

The crazy thing is that God forgets my sins, thanks to Jesus' death and resurrection. God forgetting sins hardly seems possible, much less probable, in the context of our lives and given that He's omniscient and holy and all that good stuff. But it's true. "'This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.' Then he adds: 'Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.'"

There, mind-blowingly, is my mulligan. I aim to make the best of it.

p.s. No, I will not reveal the contents of deleted Facebook posts.

Forks, Flies, and Not Having Vertigo

2009-06-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

^{I had a rough time in the kitchen yesterday. It was going to be a very late lunch, this salad I was preparing. Then a large fly charged in, all buzzy and full of going nowhere, raging against the glass with vim and vigor until I opened the window and shooed him out. I cast secret aspersions after his hairy insect rear into the yard; you see, it's the same fly every time, I know it, he finds his way in somehow and comes into the kitchen like this just to, well, bug me (but then again, they all look the same to me).

Moments later, I set my fork down for a second, and it catapulted out and onto the floor, cascading salad in its wake. Faugh! More aspersions; this particular type of flatware has been designed with disproportionately heavy handles. Switching to a decidedly better fork, I pondered balance.

Good balance isn't about everything being equal--I think we know that, most of us anyway, but sometimes we like to say otherwise when it's funny or convenient or appealing--no, balance is about the impact of things, the forces they exude. So eating equal amounts of spinach leaves and Funfetti cupcakes doesn't constitute a well-balanced diet (sure, you could say that this is due to an inequality of "things," i.e. nutrients; but we don't need the same amount of every nutrient, either, because they work differently in our bodies, which is my point); and having psychotic thoughts half the time and happy thoughts the other half doesn't give you a well-balanced personality.

What about personal balance, anyway? It seems like so much of the time, I have this superficial "balance," but really that just means I'm all over the map (once again, diversity isn't always ideal; but that's an essay of its own). Part of the problem is that not everything is meant for equilibrium--things grow, they progress, and too much or the wrong kind of balance can hinder, stagnate, preclude forward motion.

So, ironically, if I want to be well-balanced I actually need to pursue some things constantly, recklessly even, and abandon others altogether. (Not the easiest task for people like me, who always want it both ways) Or perhaps it's the other way around: stability is required for all that pursuit and prioritization. I think it's both (see, there I go again), but rather than trying to formulize stability, I want to emphasize the importance of equanimity, specifically, to point out that it's hard to get anywhere without a composing force. An anchor, if you will. A Rock. When you're running circles around yourself, you pretty much stay in the same place, and getting upset over flying forks and flies is just wasting energy.

Speaking of going in circles, I need to put an end to this. So here are some verses:

Philippians 4
4}Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

What would you be willing to do for God...

2009-06-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

...if you knew you wouldn't fail?

Just askin'

Disturb us, Lord...

2009-06-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

Sir Frances Drake, the first Englishman to navigate the globe spoke these words in prayer:

Disturb us, Lord, when

We are too well pleased with ourselves

When our dreams have come true

Because we dreamed too little,

When we arrived safely

Because we sailed too close to shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;

We have ceased to dream of eternity

And in our efforts to build a new earth,

We have allowed our vision

Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wider seas

Where storms will show your mastery;

Where losing sight of land

We shall find stars.

We ask you to push back

The horizons of our hopes;

And to push us in the future

In strength, courage, hope and love.

Sir Francis Drake, December 1577

Really, I'd rather you judge me

2009-06-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

There is a question I hear periodically, dealing with our interpersonal relations--we say, "who am I to judge that person?" This is rhetorical, of course, usually indicating an effort to not be judgmental (yes, I realize it is Biblically based, but I do have issues with the way this question is applied). Considering this phrase, it occurred to me recently that I never hear people ask who they are to judge God, though this question seems to be, dare I say, even more solidly founded in scripture, and much weightier, too.

What I do hear is a great deal of concern from people considering Christianity, or monotheism generally, over the rampant and haphazard presence of evil in the world. They find evil to be, well, bad, and reasonably so. But I'm struck by the frequency with which I hear questions like, "why did that happen to them?" or "why is this happening to me?" and the way that people assume these questions are a natural response. They aren't, I take it, rhetorical, but they do carry implications. Specifically, they often suggest that God simply shouldn't allow such things to
occur, i.e., "Why would God let this happen to me; that is wrong." What? Who? Oh, you mean God, the one who spoke the universe into existence, molded the intricacies of your body and the depths of your soul, sustains you with the breath of life and gives you every other good thing you ever had? Yes, how terrible of Him to do something that you neither approve of nor understand.

Now, I'm not trying to be heartless and hopelessly calloused; I just think that it's terribly out of perspective to say that other people can do whatever they bloody well please, but God needs to preclude all unhappy incidents in the lives of "good" people. Someone could say, well, people are people, but if God is perfect and powerful, etc., then we hold Him to a higher standard. This is poor reasoning; in fact it's because of who we are and who he is that talk of us holding him to any standard is nonsense. Sure, there are plenty of practical issues to be taken care of on the ground, but for starters, at least, if you're going to take God seriously, please. take. God. seriously.

Shameless plea for help

2009-06-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

The Africa organization I work for, Lahash International, is having an epic cleaning event this weekend to begin to prepare a house that has been offered for our use as an office and hospitality house. It's in wretched shape, and needs a lot of help, so we're calling on all of our friends to come help us "muck it out" and clean.

I'm in charge of this specatular event, which means that my entire weekend will consist of wearing a surgical mask and rubber gloves. Won't you come be so stylish alongside me?

The house is at 4850 N Vancouver Ave, Portland, and we'll be starting at 9am on Saturday. Another shift starts at 1pm, or we'll be working again Sunday afternoon starting around 2pm.

Thanks, friends.

"Caring for your introvert"

2009-05-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

I can't help myself when it comes to personality tests and learning the personality types, the quirks and the ins and outs of the people around me.
It's fascinating. It's like candy.

So out of curiosity...what are all y'alls personality types?!
There should be a facebook application for the Myers-Briggs or you can take it here.

But this was the article that got me thinking, it's all about introverts (joy!).
"Caring for your introvert"

"I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

In The Eye of the Beholder

2009-05-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am pulling a Shannon and copying this blog from my personal blog onto the NW blog because I like it and I can. I am also recommending that "pulling a Shannon" be the official term for this action, in honor of her 26th birthday.

Note to Rascal Flatts: I understand that, after reading this story, you'll most likely want to write a song about it. I think it's right up your alley. Feel free.

It's been that kind of day today.

I struggle, sometimes, with the superficiality of my job. It's loads of fun, but in the end I am still expected to close the deal. I've always done well in sales and always felt a little funny about it... I mean, it's not like I'm saving lives. I'm selling dresses. Important dresses, sure, but dresses. I'm working for the man and the empire. I'm not really doing anything all that meaningful.

Today, what I do mattered. Today, I was humbled and smacked upside the head for being short-sighted and cynical. Today was a good day.

You see, we have this dress. It's an old, old dress that's been hanging around the sample sale pile for at least six or seven years. The edges are yellowing and the beadwork looks like it has narrowly survived a natural disaster. The neckline is cut remarkably high, a look that screams 1994 and would make most conservative grandmothers rather happy. There is a giant, cliche, borderline farcical bow that snaps (yes, snaps... biggaudymetal snaps) on just above the badonkadonk. It's not a very pretty picture, this dress in its sorry old plastic bag.

I've been mocking this dress. I've been whining about it, threatening to donate it, and claiming that its presence alone was a threat to our credibility as a retail establishment. I've implied, nay, insisted that it could not possibly serve a purpose on this planet, ever. As you can imagine, I haven't done so subtly. I've been a big jerk to this dress.

Today. Today, the sweetest bride arrives with an army of annoyed looking women who practically vibrate around the store, exchanging unhappy phrases in Japanese. They are skeptical of price, have only so much to spend, have been treated poorly. They are protective of the bride, and they are fierce. Somehow, in the frenzy and the yelling and the buzzing, they emerge with the dress. I cringe, subtly (I do at least that much subtly), and obligingly hang my nemesis in the fitting room.

It isn't until the bride is undressing that I see the scars... the open, new, painfully raw scars that are freckled across her torso and neck. They huddle in with the lumps of small tumors, bruises, and unnatural indentations. The cancer, she says, took her hair... she had beautiful hair. I, for once, have nothing to say.

I know I don't have to tell you how this all went down. You are smarter than me, and you've seen it already. That dress, that ugly, forgotten, embarrassing dress, covered those scars perfectly. It will take work to make it beautiful, but the work will be done, and the beginning is there. She had a thousand dollars to spend, and bought my least favorite dress at $125. It will be rebeaded, restored, refinished, and it will cover her scars. She had been looking for quite some time for a dress that would make her feel safe and beautiful on her wedding day, and that dress will be the one. She has an impossibly wonderful smile.

There was joy, today. They thanked me, and hugged me, and left happy. I sat in the back room for awhile and let myself cry.

We are short-sighted. We look so often at something, someone, and fail to see the potential through the missing pieces, the stains, the broken parts. We forget that God is in the timing. We forget that He takes broken edges and fits them together like puzzle pieces, creates something beautiful from something tattered, harbors a perfect plan for what we have rejected. Often it is the smallest of things that remind us. I am reminded today.

Imago Dei

2009-05-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine from college is now student-teaching an english class in Seattle. They just had a guest poet speak in her class to the students and it proved to be a powerful time for both her and the students as his words were piercing. When one girl asked if there was any one experience or thought that showed up in almost all of his writing, he admitted that religion did. Although he didn't get specific, he DID say that he had been told once that he was going to go to hell for being himself, and he stated adamantly that he didn't believe THAT anymore. It was clear that he had been shown a face of religion that all too many people are shown-- that of judgement, anger, and condemnation, rather than love, welcome, and grace.
I have heard similar versions of this same story over and over in several conversations lately with people who have been hurt and wounded by the church and its people. After the Imago prayer night and praying that we would truly be image bearers of Christ, I just found this poem to be so pertinent, chilling and true. May we all be the Imago Dei.

Note: This is NOT my poem (though I wish I had written it!) This is the poem my friend wrote after hearing the poetry of a man who had walked away from the church with battle-scars. I just wanted to share it.

Confession

"There are no scars on His hands or His wrists," he says"
But my heart is clenched like a fist," he says"
What else could it be, when they shouted out 'Hell!' to a boy who was only being himself? And these sinners, these speakers, they unfurled floods of anger, they sneered while condemning their own vice and dangers, they steered their church across my knees, I see train wrecks, I see ship wrecks, I hear them speak, 'You: fault line, no straight lines where you come from,' they said, they said, they said to me.

"Angels make wings, right? They fly, right?
"But the feathers I found were only rubbed-out eyelashes for wishes made upon,
"Wish for light,
"Wish for wholeness,
"She put me to bed, said 'Sweet dreams son,' but running is all I dream about.

"I want wishes, I want light,
"And she pulls out her lashes to get me through the night.
"She says, 'One of these days, we'll both wake up with grace on our pillows.'

"I tried to follow.

"They said flames, they named names, but when I offered up mine,
"They said, 'Beast, away,'
"I looked for light, I looked for freedom, I tried to fly but hit the ceiling,
"There was no light switch, there was no quick fix, I said the prayer, I said, 'Pick me then!'
"But what I found was cold religion.

"'Do as I say, not as I do.
"'He forgives sinners, except sinners like you.
"'Toe the line kid, and do it our way
"'Take up the cross or rue the day
"'You didn't.

'"Just myself," he says.
"I was just myself
"And they said that that
"Was plenty hell-worthy."

I take it in.
I ache within,
I've said those words,
I've dug a hole for burials of lesser souls
I've nailed the lid on the coffin.
I confess. I confess.

I confess, I did.
And I look at a man with residue
Of religion gone wrong, of God misused.
He cried out for help, and he got abuse, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I did.

We should have said, come as you are.
Should have said, right there too.
Should have said, I'll just listen
Since speaking is so over-used.
And no shaking fingers,
No skeptical foreheads
The face He had
Could not have been the face you read
From us.

Where do I begin?

Is there water to wash the damage, to clean off the face of a Lord we've mangled, to wipe the eyebrows to clean the nail beds, are there waves to recreate the music we've savaged? Is there water to make the sunrise, to send up steam for reflective cloud skies shape them in angels, shape out the feathers, send down a real one to a boy still asleep, send it to the boy who is running through dreams, send it then, send him grace, send him grace on his pillow.

Rouse him gently.

Show him a face of kindness first.
Don't speak, don't hurt, just deepen eyes,
Soften your breathing,
Just show him a sigh, show him healing.
If you open your mouth, you should only sing something lullaby,
Just quiet-like.
Let the light creep in through the window
And let that soften the harsher corners,
Let that ruffle the dusty curtains,
Let that chase away the spiders,
Let that reach into monster corners,
Let that blow the cobwebs and ashes,
He is just a boy, he is just

Himself

And that is loved. And that is worth holding.
Let the dawn break
On the heart that he's clutching.

I can't begin to apologize
For the lies the lies the lies the lies
That said you weren't acceptable.

Those words are damnable.

Saving
Should be a safe place to land
Grace
Should be a strong weathered hand
His face
Should say, "I understand,
"And I love you, I love you, I love you,
"It's love
"Like sand on the shore
"Like rain from the sky
"Like poppy weed buds that fire burst bright
"I love you like this
"I love you right now
"I love you running and aching and braving and shaking and falling and breaking again, and I loved you then
"And I loved you then
"And I loved you then, even then."

It's kindness
We missed it
It's mercy we forgot.
Instead of His words,
We sang funeral songs.

I confess,
And I'm sorry.
And I pray with my lashes,
That His face in the sunrise
Gives you grace
And not ashes.

I love being a Christian

2009-05-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

I don't know how people get through life without Jesus. When you're stretched too thin, when you don't no where your strength is going to come from, you can rely on Him.

(not to mention the whole afterlife thing)

The wherefore of whining

2009-05-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

I like to complain about our health care system--it just has so many problems--and I'm not the only one. I'm sure it's surpassed baseball in the nation pastimes rankings. In truth, though, the health care around here is astonishingly effective. For a knee/shin problem, I got to take a 20-minute nap and listen to classical music. Afterward I was handed dozens of pictures of the inside of my leg. The inside. And now we know what the problem is. How is that not fantastic? I could go on and on with other examples, but I won't.

This all reminds me of a study I read about once, one that involved cyclists riding many miles over a course of multiple days, sort of a Tour de France type idea, except it wasn't a race or in France. Anyway, they found that when the cyclists were made to undertake moderately taxing rides, and provided with lots of amenities (food, nice sleeping arrangements, etc.), they
complained a copiously. After all, it was still a difficult endeavor; they were putting in long rides, and undoubtedly suffered numerous aches, pains and inconveniences. However, when luxuries were stripped to a minimum and the riding was made to be more taxing, the riders' whining nearly ceased. They were too busy focusing on the task in front of them. It makes sense that when life is easy, you can afford to address all manner of imperfections, and when it's hard, you just deal and survive; but it makes an odd situation where the more pleasant life becomes, the more whining takes place.

It makes me wonder: do I complain because things are so terrible, or because my life is normally so soft and plush? Perhaps it's time for an attitude check.

A thought for today based off of two days ago's thought

2009-05-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

I heard a Duke University professor give this analogy in reference to the chaos regarding the current frenzied stockpile of antibiotics to fight "swine flu".

He told this story:

Imagine that you go out to buy a suit. You're really excited about this suit, and you go all out. You buy all the accessories, from the socks to the cuff links. You spend upwards of $1,000 on this outfit, and wear it out of the store to show it off. As you are walking across a bridge, you look down and see a man drowning. You don't have time to take your nice clothes off, but you don't hesitate and jump in the water to save the man's life, without even thinking of your clothes, even though they're going to be ruined.

So often we get to an emergency situation and spend without question. When confronted with need, we work something out to meet that need. What if, instead of having a $1,000 suit ruined to avert a tragedy, we wore simple clothes and built a guard rail? What if, instead of spending billions in a moment of panic to fight this specialized flu, we were spending a few dollars a day to wipe out malaria and TB and leprosy and cancer and diabetes? We could save millions of lives a bit at a time or wait until the tragedy is unavoidably present and spend lavishly. I wish we, as a culture and as individuals, were better at planning long-term and being consistently generous and preferring others.

(Also, I think it's weird that some of our blog post labels include Ace of Base, ice cream, and the Yukon. Sounds like the cards you might have in Apples to Apples.)

And another one

2009-05-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

This time from Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville, Georgia:

"We’re ALL created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). If you are prejudiced, that’s like looking at God and telling Him that you don’t like His work."

Thought of the day

2009-05-04T13:54:00.001-07:00

Courtesy, Without Wax:

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”
“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”
“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

Thought of the day

2009-04-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

As Jesus once said (roughly), if you love only those who love you, or if you are kind to only those who are kind to you, you're not much different than anyone else. Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.

I'd say the same goes for weather. Anyone can be happy on a sunny day...but can you feel joy and God's love on a rainy one?

And the same goes for good fortune. Anyone can say "God is great" when they've won the lottery...but can you do that when you hate your job?

God is great all the time, not just on sunny days (though I prefer those). Here's hoping we can give Him glory at all times, not just the best of them.

on love and presence

2009-04-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

"This is the most profound spiritual truth I know: that even when we're most sure that love can't conquer all, it seems to anyway. It goes down into the rat hole with us, in the guise of our friends, and there it swells and comforts. It gives us second winds, third winds, hundredth winds. It struck me that I have spent so much time trying to pump my way into feeling the solace I used to feel in my parents' arms. But pumping always fails you in the end. The truth is that your spirits don’t rise until you get way down. Maybe that's because this-the mud, the bottom-is where it all rises from. Maybe without it, whatever rises would fly off or evaporate before you could even be with it for a moment. But when someone enters that valley with you, that mud, it somehow saves you again." -Anne LaMott

my prayer for our community...

A Beautiful Day Rambling...

2009-04-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

I feel it's worth mentioning that it is raining flower petals outside my apartment. For the third day in a row, when I open the windows, tiny pink petals flutter in, littering my floor and dog and kitchen table. I find them irresistibly, impossibly beautiful.

I love days like today - Katherine and I were out walking and talking about how easy it is to see God in the springtime, how compelled we are to offer up kudos to Him for the flowers and the sunshine and the trees. We spend so much time in darkness, literally and figuratively, trying to find our way. On days like today, when it's so easy to appreciate the simplest joys, we feel free. I love that. I love that we have a Creator who recognizes how hard things can be, and offers us entire days of undeniable beauty, where He is obvious, His creation is fantastically peaceful, and His love rains in through the windows.

love.

On being known

2009-04-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

-I posted this on my other blog, but I thought I'd open it up for the hc blog :)

I LOVE knowing people’s names. I really do. I love it when people know my name, even if I still blush a little when I tell people my full name, or when people give a hearty chuckle when they hear my name. I feel like people know me when they know my name. It makes the world a little smaller, community a little more real. You could go all around town all throughout life without having anyone really know you, and the idea of that forms a pit in my stomach. We are wired to be relational to be with people, to be known. This is why isolation is the greatest punishment. We NEED people.
Complex pathways of the brain and regulation of certain functions of our limbic brain makes expulsion from the company of others the cruelest punishment humans can devise. Studies were done a long time ago on orphan children, finding that children NEED affection and emotional attention. Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact and he will die. We are born with the innate need and desire to be known.

It’s not easy to be known; it requires vulnerability and risk. It’s not always something that comes naturally. We hide ourselves for fear of truly being known and on the other end of the spectrum we have within us a deep desire to be known. We need it but we fear it. What does one do with that? I find myself hiding myself away at times for fear that people won’t like the real me and trying to be vulnerable hoping that people will like the real me, so much of life is lived somewhere in the space between.

I value community and that place where everyone knows my name. I like feeling at home with people. Take for example, my place of work, at the coffee shop; someone can come in everyday and we quickly stack up fleeting moments of interaction and all the while have no idea who the other is, but one day, a moment is taken to ask the name of the other. Once names are exchanged, it’s a whole new interaction as if the name is your “in” this allows you to ask questions, see who the other is. At least this has been the case with me, maybe I am a little nosy or curious, but I can’t help it. For me, it has that feeling of “yeah, we go WAY back.” Like an old friend. And even though that’s not the case, I like that feeling of seeing an old friend when they walk in the door.

I like going for a run in the neighborhood and passing my favorite old couple on the street with a smile and a wink. Or running into Steve who is giving his son a pep-talk on how to ride a bike even if it’s scary, or passing Lee and his co-worker out for a run along the riverfront. It’s the hellos I’m after, the community, the recognition of knowing and recognizing the we are all tied to one another.

We are all fellow travelers in this life. We’re all in this together.

Growing Up In A Muslim Country

2009-04-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

I wrote this article for Relevant Magazine sometime in the spring of 2002, so thought I'd share it with everyone since it tells a little bit about myself.

Friday evening the army truck pulled up to the mall in Karawaci. Nondescript, except for the load of men crammed in the back, it came in behind the other vehicles entering the parking lot. The men in the back quickly piled out and streamed into the mall, smashing windows and merchandise, looting stores and wrecking havoc. Caravans of trucks were right behind the first, each loaded down with angry men. The scale of the destruction wouldn't be known for several days, but a couple hundred looters died in the mall as they set fire to the stores. The synthetic textiles of the clothes on the racks burned hot and fast, filling the mall with deadly smoke before the looters themselves could escape.

That was just one of many riots that occurred in Indonesia in the Spring of 1998. The riots grew out of hand, and within 36 hours, over 1500 people died, many others were raped, robbed and injured. It would be easy to think that Indonesia suffers from religious and ethnic intolerance. But I think it simply suffers from ignorance.

I was born and raised in Kalimantan, formerly Borneo, one of the islands of the largest Muslim country in the world. Life in the country has not been easy since the riots. A severe depression swept through and left the people in hardship, including my family.

I lived in Borneo for 15 years. When I was in the 9th grade, I applied for a scholarship at an international high school and got it. I moved to Java, until I graduated. I was a nominal Catholic when I moved to Java and some of the friends I hung out with were either Muslims or strong Christians. Together with the Muslim friends, I would make fun of how the Christians praised and worshiped God. I was rebellious at school where I lacked the limitations that my family set for me at home. The fact I was away from my family made me feel free to do anything I wanted to do.

I knew at that time there were a lot of my Christians friends praying for me, but I ignored them and assumed they were just freaks. A couple of weeks before school was over, a friend invited me to go to a service at school chapel. I had never been to any of the chapel services before, so I thought it would be a good idea to just go and see to make fun of it. But something about what we did, and then, what was talked about affected me, moved me. Much to my surprise I found myself on the other side of a line I thought I’d never cross.

The real challenge came afterwards. My Muslim friends started to look at me differently; some of them even threatened me. It was a hard time. I was new to what I had gotten myself into. The only thing I was graciously conscious of was that Jesus was somehow always with me so things would be fine. I saw some incredible things happen at my school, others who were very closed also found themselves drawn into a relationship with Jesus, and people were healed of some serious stuff both mental and physical. Personally, I learned my faith had more to do with my will and my attitudes, two things I had great difficulty in changing. I found I could be changed only through constant surrender to Jesus.

I think the same goes for my country. There is supposed religious freedom, but obviously Islam is favored and Christianity is set with some substantial roadblocks: no sharing of your faith to anyone who is not already Christian, no real recourse if a church is burned down or you are persecuted. It is a great challenge to be a Christian in a Muslim country.

After graduating from high school, I wanted to go to where I could learn about how to live God’s way. I had heard about some of the universities in America, and wanted to go to school there. Because of the financial impossibility, my family didn’t agree at all. They also did not understand my interest in going to a Christian university. I trusted that if I could at all go to the States to a Christian school it would have to be a miracle, so I left it up to God and kept hoping. Eventually, thankfully, my parents changed their minds, and worked with me on how to get there.

I could not believe at first I was in the United States. No one in my family had ever been here before. And to be able to study here was something I didn’t even waste my time fantasizing about a year earlier. I thank God everyday for this opportunity. Life here is very different. Everything seems so easy and comfortable. You have the freedom to do almost anything you want: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of press, freedom of expression, and more.

The first year of college wasn’t easy at all. I have normally been an outgoing person, surrounded by friends, but here it was really hard for me. I have made many great friends since though, as I have not given up on trying to meet new people and try new things.

Last summer I went with a teen missions group to Panama. I had an amazing time. I learned to be proactive for the first time in talking to people about what I have experienced in getting to know God. And I have not stopped thinking about something that happened during our debriefing after the trip. The leader of the organization I went with spoke before all the groups that had gone around the world that summer, saying something like, “You have had a great experience with God, you are closer to him. Now, when you go back to your homes, continue to read your Bible and pray. Also, if there are people in your lives who are not Christians, or friends who are not as committed, don’t hang out with them anymore.” After the debriefing my team had its own meeting. The first person to stand up and talk said something like, “I am going to go home and stop hanging out with all my friends who aren’t Christian or not as committed.”

In Indonesia, I know a family who is half Muslim and half Christian. They don’t agree with each other, but they love each other very much and live together in community as most Indonesian families do. I also know a family who has one son who is gay, and although they don’t agree with his lifestyle, they still love him and he is welcome always. It has never occurred to me to shut someone out of my life because they are not as committed as I am, follow a different way, have serious problems or anything like that. Friends are friends, family is family regardless. It is pretty much a part of my culture. Sometimes I wonder which way is right as I hear this a lot. I think that if I do not hang out with these people, who will? And if they have to be better people to hang out with me, am I good enough and what kind of message am I sending?

This summer I will go home. I haven’t been home for almost two years now. I try to keep up with everything going on in my country. But I think everything will be really different when I go back. The way my perspective has been shaped and the things I have learned over these two years in America will change the way I think and look at my home.

Life is still hard in Indonesia, depression is still going on and only God knows when it will end. I want to be a light in the ignorance. I cannot talk in public, but I can share love through the way I live. I can change someone’s life with my own. My family has been expecting my return for a long time. I hope I am going home a better person.

Yeah, that was productive . . .

2009-04-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to make good use of your time?

I pondered this briefly today at the gym. This morning I spent three-and-a-half hours in a medical clinic, saw a doctor for maybe ten minutes of that time, and walked away with no x-rays, no real action plan, not even a tentative diagnosis. They simply informed me that I would get a phone call, after a few days, from someone about seeing some radiology lab somewhere that could do something for me at some future date if I paid them some uncertain amount of money. Fortunately (providentially?), during the hundred and fifty minutes that I spent in the waiting room, I discovered a copy of Richard J. Foster's Prayer and was able to mow through a few chapters. It was a good morning, I think.

At the gym, I at least "did something" (on a Precor EFX 576i, to be exact), and it was a decent workout, notwithstanding the time I irrevocably devoted to watching "Commando," a Schwarzenegger film where the hero throws around heavy objects and scowls a lot. In my partial defense, I had been watching the Miami (OH) RedHawks take out Bemidji in the NCAA "Frozen Four" semis, but it wasn't close in the third period, and there's a strange magnetism about indestructable people that drew my eyes to the silent film on the big screen. Anyway, despite the impressive feat that suplexing an occupied phone booth is, I felt palpably less intelligent even after viewing probably less than half of the movie.

Then I went over to the weights area to sculpt my guns.

Just kidding. Seriously, though, I like to get things done, and today was a good reminder that productivity isn't always what it seems.

On listening

2009-04-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

As anyone in the Facebook generation knows, losing your phone is tragic. No more numbers, no more ringtones, no more texting, no more contact with the outside world. It can be quite a nice thing to be without a phone -- it's like fasting, but with technology -- but that's not always the easiest thing to remind yourself in the moment.

I bring this up because my phone was gone, gone, gone the other day. I went through the classic thought process: where was the last time I saw it, did it ever leave my room, etc. I knew it was in my bedroom somewhere. I flung the covers off my bed. Nothing. I checked the insides of shoes. Nothing. I checked places it couldn't possibly be, just to feel like I'd done a thorough search. No dice.

Then I heard the phone vibrate. Is there a moment in my life where you listen as intently as when you're listening for your phone? I bent over, my chest parallel to the ground, contorting my head so as to move my ears as close to the ground as possible. Then it hit me --

If I really want to hear God's Word in everyday life, if I really want to hear Him give instructions on my life, I need to listen intently for Him...not for the vibration of an incoming text message.

Darn it.

A Long December

2009-04-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

Consider this scenario: you're out in a public place--a gym, a restaurant, Wally World--just going along, doing your thing, when you have a sudden realization. "Hey, I know this tune!" And then you are happy. I think, in a way, God does this for us, too; in common places, sometimes when we least expect it (Wally World?!), His presence, His imprint, His melody manifests for us to witness.

It's a beautiful thing. It also usually requires two conditions on our side of the equation. First, we must be open and receptive. You won't hear the background music well, if at all, when you walk around bumping your Ace of Base mix on the iPod. Likewise, it can be hard to take in God when we're busy gorging ourselves with as many other things as possible. I believe that there is a real danger for Christians in America to become the thorn-choked plants of Matthew 13, and we do just that when we drown out His voice with cacophonic pursuits.

Our second need is knowing what to listen for. Because you won't recollect a song if you never learned how it goes in the first place, nor will you recognize the divine love symphony if it's unfamiliar to the ears of your soul. Knowing the Lord is paramount.

My prayer is that you will be so sensitized by the Spirit and learn His identity so deeply that even His faintest notes will captivate you in profound and unquenchable ways. And then you will be more than happy.

Who am I, and where am I going, and am I being redundant?

2009-03-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

I saw a doctor in my late high school and early college days; I guess he was all right medically, but in general he was a bit pessimistic. When I told him I was majoring in history he said, "Ah, looking for a career at Baskin-Robbins scooping ice cream!" We laughed at the time, but it was true--with all the time I spent analyzing the past, I hadn't the foggiest idea of what direction I'd take in the future. Even today, my life is peppered with unanswered what-are-you-going-to-do queries. But lately, I don't think I care. At least, I've been learning that who you're becoming trumps what you're going to do. The reminders just keep popping up. I particularly like the old motto that Richard J. Foster cites (in Latin no less): actio sequitur esse, "action follows essence." In other words, take care of who you are, and that will flow from there. I see it in the Word, too. Psalm 25:12 is awkwardly phrased, yet to the point when it says, "Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose." Additional verses, sermons, conversations, and experiences, they all corroborate the same idea, and I suspect that it really is this "simple." I'm not saying that it's quick or easy--in fact, it hopelessly complicates matters for task-oriented individuals such as myself--but I'm convinced that the key to my future endeavors, and even to "finding God's will for my life" (as if it were lost), lies not in external factors as much as in my own identity, an identity that must begin and end in Christ.

2009-03-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hey team,
I was fortunate enough to be chosen to read the call to worship at church on Sunday. The text is below. Thanks to those whose ideas influenced mine --

I’m worn down by words sometimes. I think this is one of the devil’s better tricks. I talk so much, I read so much, I hear so much that words lose their meanings.

So I’ll read a psalm where David thirsts for the Lord, and his thirst seems like no big deal.

Yeah yeah, he’s thirsty, I’m thirsty, we’re all thirsty. I get it.

Then I’ll read about how God is the mighty rock and that won’t matter either.

I’ll read about the river of God being full of water and no, that meaning won’t connect with me either.

Then a day will come where the meaning does hit me. One day I’m spiritually in the desert, this hopeless middle-of-nowhere place where I’m starving and dying and a million other intense adjectives and there’s nothing I can do about it…Nothing that is, except long for God.

And those are the moments when my mind and heart rediscover their ability to feel, taste, and live in truth. Suddenly I understand that when David says his legs are in clay without God it’s because he literally cannot move without God. That when Jesus says He is the light of the world, it’s because He is the only thing that can be seen in an eternity of pitch black. Suddenly the idea of hungering and thirsting for righteousness, of hungering and thirsting for God…suddenly I realize that the desert is teaching me a thirst far better than any earthly quenching; the desert is teaching me that, in my deepest parts, I was made to crave--and to know--the Living God.

I’m not talking about yearning for God only when the chips are down. I’m talking about voluntarily entering the desert, being on my knees, sprawled out and asking to drown in His love every single day. It's about learning to live in longing for Him, and knowing that whether my day is good or bad, He saves me. Everyday He saves my life.

Pretty much the best thing I've ever read

2009-02-23T18:31:00.001-08:00

From Brian "Head" Welch's Save Me From Myself, page 218:

"While I was in Korn, I had people waiting on me left and right. Anything I wanted, I got. Anywhere I wanted to go, I went. All I had to do was give the word and it happened. I had the world in the palm of my hand, people, and I have to tell you one last time: there's nothing there. I promise you.

Jesus Christ is the only one that can make you complete."

Question: How Can Guys and Girls Be Friends?

2009-02-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

I have always had loads of guy friends. My best friend growing up was Gabe, my best friend in college was Matt, and one of my best friends immediately after college was Ben. Right now my closest friends are mostly guys, with a few notable, BFF-type exceptions.

A female friend recently marveled at the series of close, platonic relationships I have with guys. I can't explain why it is so easy for me to relate to guys, but those male friendships have been the most loyal and consistent in my life.

At the women's sexuality forum they mentioned how sexuality is the longing for togetherness, and that sexual intercourse is only one aspect of sexuality. Non-genital sexuality, or social sexuality, is how male and female relationships are important outside of sexual intimacy. I know that those relationships with men have made me a more well-rounded person with a better understanding of myself and my God.

On the flip-side, in college I had friends who believed, in the tradition of Harry Burns, that guys and girls could never be friends.

Here are my questions for you all:
- Can men and women just be friends? If so, what are the benefits to those relationships?
- What factors are required for men and women to be friends?

Solomon was a graduate student

2009-02-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

"Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body."
-Ecclesiastes 12:12

Preach it, Sol.

Times in life where I feel special

2009-02-11T16:58:00.000-08:00

1. Making a left on red (Note: in Oregon, we're for some reason permitted to do this from a two way onto a one way)
2. Ordering an off-the-menu item (i.e. an In n' Out burger made "animal style")
3. When I remember God loves me and for some reason chose me to be saved

Give thanks in all things

2009-02-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

If the Cardinals somehow beat the Steelers tomorrow, I'll be thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I pretty much always love when an underdog wins; what would make this even better is that it's the Arizona Cardinals (a team I bet my friend Todd wouldn't win the Super Bowl in the next 40 years).

Arizona is quarterbacked by Kurt Warner, whose story is pretty ridiculous and who the Lord has clearly used to show that, indeed, all things are possible through Christ. After wins, Kurt always begins by thanking Jesus. People are tired of hearing it. He knows they're tired of hearing it. He thanks Jesus anyway.

Tomorrow the Cardinals play for the Super Bowl. I don't particularly like their chances, though much stranger things have happened. I'll be rooting for them. But if it doesn't happen, I hope he thanks Jesus anyway.

"give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

It's snowing in Portland again

2009-01-27T10:25:00.000-08:00

As people in Portland aren’t used to the snow, they tend to not like it (note: using this logic, they wouldn’t like deodorant, either). Being from the Northeast, with childhood memories steeped in snowball fights, sledding and cold, I love it. It’s pretty much the most beautiful thing in the world.

So as I sat on I-405 this AM, traffic snarled, I didn’t really mind. In the distance…well, I couldn’t really see in the distance. There was just whiteness around me – the whiteness of snow, the whiteness of snow-fog (pretty sure that’s the technical term for it). Stuck on 405, nothing to do but look out the windows, I was reminded how God wants us to live our lives slower, trusting in Him, resting in Him, not trying to control everything, not trying to mentally coerce the other cars to get out of the way. That’s a reminder I need pretty much every day.

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15

Stunning realization

2009-01-24T15:42:00.000-08:00

If I looked to God for wisdom half as often as I looked in the fridge for food, I'd be a very wise man

Belated

2009-01-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

Apparently, someone declared the 11th to be National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. This would have been a good time for me to point in the direction of the Not For Sale Campaign, a national and international project against human trafficking. There are numerous ways to get involved with Not For Sale besides simply giving money, and even if you aren't ready to do that, it's worth reading up on human trafficking, which now composes the second largest industry in the world behind illegal drugs (it was third a couple weeks ago, but I guess it just passed up the weapons trade). There are more people enslaved today than ever before! Here are some links to get started:
Not For Sale
Polaris Project
Change.org
a blog about Human Trafficking & Sexual Exploitation

What if...

2009-01-13T10:17:00.000-08:00

...Instead of answering Facebook's "what are you doing right now?" status update, you instead thought of it in different terms:

What is God doing in your life right now?

I venture to say we should always have an answer ready for this question

Naming

2009-01-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Ever noticed how some people are always referred to by their full name?* Maybe they have a funky last name, or an unremarkable first, or just a really good combination. There could be a number of reasons, really, but for whatever cause, sometimes the first name attaches to the last, and sometimes it doesn't. Take my friend Gabe. He's just Gabe; I bet a lot of his acquaintances don't even know his last name. Then I know a guy named Josh Chang. It's never Josh, always JoshChang. I'll pause here while you think of examples from your own life.

The point (yes I have a point) here, or at least the related thought that I had, is that God knows, sees, and calls people by their full names. And this full includes middle name, nickname, suffix, and general entirety of being. He doesn't know us in monosyllables, or treat us in one dimension. This has heavy implications for not only how we relate to God but also how we as Christians relate to others as we aspire to follow Christ's example. Think about it...

*I exaggerate. Sue me.

End of year ramblings

2008-12-31T12:46:00.000-08:00

Walking by cell phone talkers, I can’t help but notice the drama in their voices. Or maybe I should say in our voices. Person A is always talking about Person B, or Boyfriend A and wondering why they can’t act differently, why does he say this, etc. I wonder if we create our own drama so we don’t have to focus on True Importance: our relationship with the Lord.
One of the traps into which I continue to fall is the one where I feel badly about my life because of something that happened in high school, because I wish I had handled a situation differently, haven’t been able to lead friend X to the Lord, etc. These are not bad things to notice. The fact of the matter, though, is that none of my past alters that which is truly important: I am loved by the Lord.
The more I learn about the Lord, the less I care about other things. I never thought I’d reach a point in my life where I went five weeks without watching football.
With that said, there’s a lot of life to enjoy that isn’t explicitly a “Christian” activity. But I do think you should be seeking the Lord in most everything you do.
Pretty much everything that happens in your life is a miracle, not a coincidence. I’ll probably (maybe) expand on that at another time.
The moments where my instincts scream at me to control are the moments when I most need to be still.
The longer I’ve been a Christian, the more I realize I had no idea what I was getting in to. At an especially overwhelming moment last week, I remembered a quote I’d once heard: being a Christian isn’t just hard. It’s impossible. Thankfully, all things are possible with Him who gives me strength. Sorry it took me so long to understand this.

Interesting thought

2008-12-31T09:54:00.000-08:00

So part of the Presidential Inauguration is having the president choose a Bible verse on which to be sworn in. It's not required of the president; it's just that every single one has chosen to use a verse.

Imagine having the entire Bible from which to choose, but you can only go with one verse. Which one would it be for you?

Pray for the Lamberth family

2008-12-30T11:34:00.000-08:00

My friend Heidi posted this on her blog, my heart is breaking for this family. Our prayers are powerful, please join us in lifting this family up:

Heidi said:

A family in my sister’s small group has experienced an unbelievable tragedy and they are desperatly in need of prayer. Mark, the dad, was in a terrible dirtbike accident before Christmas. He suffered severe injury to his brain and has been in the ICU ever since. The odds are not on his side. His wife, Angie, and his son, Nolan, are clinging to the hope that our God can and does perform miracles. To read about his accident and the daily updates on his condition you can go to their blog, Pray For The Lamberths. This family needs all the prayers they can get. Please lift them up and pass the word along. Their family needs a miracle. Angie needs her husband. Nolan needs his father.

Fall on your knees

2008-12-24T22:39:00.001-08:00

Ever take the time to really listen to Christmas song lyrics? My friend Mari and I especially like the ones from "O Holy Night."

Specifically:

Long lay the world

In sin and error pining

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.

Think about that for a second: and the soul felt its worth. The soul felt its worth. We can do that every single moment, every single day. Think about that.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It's snowing in Newberg, too.

2008-12-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

These are just some photos from my walk home from the coffeeshop this afternoon, and I thought I'd share some photos of my little town with you all.

(This last picture is of my parents' house where I live.)

I think that some people in Beaverton and Portland (and Wisconsin) should upload some pictures of how things look in your neighborhoods. Do it, do it!

"Do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus"

2008-12-15T06:21:00.000-08:00

In my day job, I work with students. Something I try to communicate is that you're always interviewing. So, even though you might not be in a constant state of answering a direct "why should we hire you?" question, you are in a constant state of preparing for the interview. That might mean you're doing an internship or volunteer work. That might mean you're struggling with a personal issue which will later turn into an interview answer. Or it could just mean you're maturing as a person; this maturity will be reflected in an interview. Whether you're aware of it or not, you're always interviewing.

I was thinking about this in terms of being a Christian. It occurred to me that we should always be witnessing (note: feel free to include similar Christian buzzword). Whether we're overtly talking about Jesus or simply being thankful in all circumstances, we need to be aware that we're always representing our Lord and Savior (scary as that may be). Again we turn to Colossians 3:17 for our reference:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Beauty

2008-12-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Portland, Oregon!

...Where two inches of snow has effectively shut down the city. I love days like this, not just because they allow for all sorts of self-indulgent "you call this a storm? Why it snowed 33 inches overnight when I lived in Boston" type comments, but also because if you wake up early enough you can see the snow before anyone else does.

In some slow, peaceful way, being the first one out the door, making the first snow print makes me inch closer to understanding Creation. Looking out the window, the snowflakes slowly descending on trees, the wind gently making me feel more alive, I'm inspired to think of how beautiful Heaven must look.

"God saw everything that he had made, and indeed it was very good." - Genesis 1:31

I love when this happens

2008-12-12T16:11:00.000-08:00

With "this" in the above meaning "when your friend Sarah convinces you to substitute carob for chocolate, then you learn that carob is Biblical."

Don't believe me? Check out wikipedia:

[Carob] is probably also mentioned in the New Testament, in which Matthew 3:4 reports that John the Baptist subsisted on "locusts and wild honey"; the Greek word translated "locusts" may refer to carob pods, rather than to grasshoppers.

Giddyup!

Equal rights to verbs

2008-12-11T19:42:00.000-08:00

My roommate Zac just went downstairs "to study." As he's not in school or studying for any school admissions exam, I was a bit perplexed. For what else do you study?

Then he said he was studying the Bible. "I would have used the verb 'read'," I told him.

Then we both realized that wasn't fair to the verb "study." Why does it have to be confined to school stuff?

So yeah, we think you should be able to talk about studying the Bible. Or a particular drink recipe. Or fantasy football statistics. Or the history of Batman's sometimes tenuous relationship with Nightwing. Or...whatever.

Love the Lord with all your heart

2008-12-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

I’ve been haunted by Deuteronomy 6:5 recently, both in its original place and when quoted the New Testament –

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

What haunts me? The fact that I don’t do that. Sure, I have my quiet time with God, I read a Bible chapter or two and sometimes meditate on the Word. But there’s no way I can say I love God with all my heart when I spend so much time in thoughts not about Him. Somehow it’s easier to love a girl, friends and even animals than it is to love my God. I wish this were not the case.

I was thinking about this as I read the tale of Zacchaeus the tax collector today. Zacchaus, a wealthy tax collector who (at least by today’s standards) might not need to meet Jesus was absolutely desperate to do so. Luke 19:4 says Zacchaus “ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.”

Zacchaeus was desperate to see the Lord, so desperate he climbed a tree to do so. He wasn’t climbing the tree out of obligation, habit or because he was monetarily bankrupt. He was desperate for Jesus.

Can I say that about myself? Am I desperate for Jesus? Would I climb a tree (metaphorically) to see Him? If asked, my answer would probably be “sometimes.”

So do I always love the Lord my God with all my heart? Absolutely not…but I’m trying. It's easy to fall into the trap of self-pity based on that answer. I'm not going to do that. Personal transformation -- from loving the world/yourself to loving God -- does not happen overnight. I mean, it's taken me seven years to get to this point. Here’s hoping tomorrow brings me one step closer to loving the Lord with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength.

The gospel is everywhere, part 1000

2008-11-30T20:01:00.000-08:00

One of my all-time favorite books is Michael Lewis' Moneyball (pictured above). While nominally about baseball, in reading the book you'll realize it's actually about being efficient in life.

One of the themes that stuck with me is that of a decision being evaluated not on the result, but on the process involved in making the decision. So, if you trade for a bad player who coincidentally sets the world on fire upon his acquisition, that does not mean the trade decision was a good one. To use a real world example: my friend Wesley once survived a car accident only because she wasn't wearing a seat belt. Just because she survived, however, does not validate the decision to drive without wearing the seat belt*.

I always thought this "the value of the decision is not in its result" philosophy extended to the gospel as well. Like, if I talk about the Lord with a stranger but it does not result in the stranger coming to the Lord, I shouldn't feel like I made a bad decision**.

Reading Luke 4, I found my scriptural reference. Here, Jesus is tempted by Satan, who offers Jesus authority and splendor over all the kingdoms in the world. One problem: while the result would make a certain amount of sense, the process by which He got there would be, well, a bit troubling.

I think Christians can be similarly tempted by the allure of a seemingly positive result. What I think we need to remember, though, is that the result we ought to always be seeking is not one of worldly pleasure, or even one which looks good to other Christians. The result we should simply, unequivocally be seeking is the approval of the Lord. After all, it is He, not men, who ultimately judges us.

* = I know this sentence is a double negative. If you have a better idea of how to phrase it, please do let me know

** = same thing

Phone calls with God

2008-11-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

Every few months, the CEO of my company will open up an hour from his schedule to host calls from employees from throughout the country. If your request is received early enough, he’ll spend five minutes on the phone only with you. This is seen as an impressive gesture from someone who presides over 37 different branches of the company.

Now let’s think about God: the Creator and presider over all the universe. The one who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us. Must be a busy guy, right? Yet we have access to him not every few months for five minutes, but all the time.

Think about that for a moment. All we have to do is talk to Him. The thought absolutely blows my mind. Wow.

Faith

2008-11-20T07:53:00.000-08:00

How dictionary.com defines it: confidence or trust in a person or thing

How I tend to define it: the belief that, however improbable the situation, God is in charge

Not bad, right?

Here's what the Greek word pistis (which appears as "faith" in our Bibles) is actually defined:
reliance upon Christ for salvation

Kind of changes your view of things, right?

Bring Jesus to work day

2008-11-17T22:27:00.000-08:00

One of the things I sometimes have trouble with when "spending time with the Lord" is that I can't actually see him. Even though I conceptually know He's there at every second of every day, if I'm not actively feeling His presence I easily forget about Him.

My friend Kevin suggested picturing Him on my shoulder, or picturing Him walking next to me. Would that affect how I proceed through my day? Would I stop putzing around, stop procrastinating, stop finding ways to shirk responsibility?

What if I took Him to work with me? Would that affect my effort? Something tells me I wouldn't be spending time on so many websites, sending so many emails to friends and doing anything besides what I'm being paid off to do.

So I'm thinking that should be my attitude throughout life -- not so much "what would Jesus do?" but more like "what would you do if Jesus were right next to you?"

(which, of course, he kinda is)

Scriptural reference:
Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

On fear (again)

2008-11-13T12:32:00.001-08:00

I was talking about this with my men's group the other night:

A conclusion we reached is that much of fear is generated by free will. As an example: when you were a kid you didn’t have the option of not playing prison dodge ball. It was prison dodge ball week in P.E., so you had to play. Now that we’re older, we can hand-select which activities in which to participate and suddenly we’re terrified of failure.

(insert any of a million different variables for prison dodge ball, i.e. other sports, foods your parents made you eat, etc)

Obviously I’m simplifying it a little; probably you did have some fear of prison dodge ball, but you got over it because you had to. Later in life, you don’t have to. You can choose to stay scared forever.

Makes sense, right? Free will is what brought us original sin, fear is maybe Satan’s greatest weapon…and this is why I think Jesus is always saying “do not be afraid.”

Self-unreliance

2008-11-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

The other night I didn't feel like doing anything that required firing more than a minimum of brain synapses, so I went down to browse my roommate's DVD collection. There I noticed a title I'd never heard of, a sort of kung-fu action movie called "Hero." It features Jet Li and had some good-sounding reviews on the back (but don't they all), so decided to watch it. I don't think I had ever watched an entire Chinese or kung-fu film before, so I won't try to write a full review of this one. I would like to comment on the fantastic fight scenes, though. Most of the main characters were very thoughtful and reflective, and this heavily colored the way they fought. In one part, the combatants even stopped, closed their eyes, and continued the contest in their minds for awhile. Ok, so that might sound a little weird, but the battling was just so poetic, and it occurred to me that, not only does the 90s hit video game "Street Fighter" make a lot more sense now, but also people seem to desire the transcendence achieved by these fighters, the ability to rise above our human nature. We want to repel arrows like flies, to face life's challenges with spinning, leaping, soaring duels on top of a quiet mountain lake without getting more than our feet wet. Of course, I'm not saying everyone, or even most people, are consciously entertaining such thoughts, but I'd wager that these sentiments are ingrained in more than just Asian assassins. Maybe it's a desire to be gods, or perhaps a longing to be with Him; in either case, it has long been recognized across the globe that there is more to this life than the eye sees or reason infers, but sometimes as present-day Americans we forget this as we scurry about pursuing our happiness. So our innate longing for transcendence manifests in strange places, like subtitled movies. Fortunately, as a follower of Christ I know that I don't have to bank anything on perfecting that killer swordstrike, or performing any other kind of extra-normal shenanigans. I don't even have to be an ace at the regular stuff. As Paul reminds us, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Cor. 12:9) And again, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) It's quite a relief, if you think about it. Sure saves me a lot of hours at the dojo, anyway.

Quick and simple

2008-10-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

In the midst of dressing like Waldo for the company Halloween contest, I said a bothered "hello" to a co-worker.

Then I found out this co-worker was one of the judges. My spirit perked up. Suddenly she had more value to add to my life.

As you're certainly well aware, that's not really the way to treat people. In fact, a line that's always stayed with me is that "every single person is someone for whom your savior died."

Pretty much I should treat everyone like they were a judge. After all, even corrupt tax collectors can love those who love them.

Thoughts on fear

2008-10-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Like God, blogs where you aren't the only contributor are easy to return to, even if you've
ignored them for a very long time...

And fortunately for all of us, that isn't the real reason I'm posting here.

Yesterday, I more or less participated in a discussion about fears, and at some point it struck me how irrational our fears often are (you might say that fear is an emotion, and so by definition
is not rational, and I guess I'd have to give you that, but hopefully you get what I mean). Fear is a natural reaction to danger; thus if you find yourself in an active minefield, it would make sense for you to be afraid of death or injury by underground explosives. So many of our fears, though, aren't in response to a present danger. Reality is twisted and shadows elongated in our minds until we become scared of all kinds of things that might be, but aren't. And not just things like, "there might be a mine there, because this is a minefield." I mean stuff like "this isn't a minefield, but there might be a mine there..." when of course there is no mine, because you're in the Yukon and no one lays mines there or ever will. Spiders, hot cooking oil, and probably most other phobias don't warrant much worry either. But still, we carry these things around all the time.

Ironically, faith is frequently deemed irrational, a belief in uncertainties, and juxtaposed against reason. This is a misleading dichotomy, though, because in so many instances faith sides with reason, and these oppose fear. This is the formula I tend to see in the Bible. No wonder the most common command in scripture is to not be afraid.

Here is where I would insert an incisive conclusion, but I don't have one yet, so I'll just encourage you to explore the topic yourself. Here's a start:

Hebrews 13:5-6
God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."

Granted the Sox season is over now, but...

2008-10-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

Actual text message exchange between myself and my friend Julie before game 7 of the ALCS on Sunday night:

Me: Don't stop believing Jules
Her: I can't...they won't let me...

I thought that was perfect -- not as a description of the Red Sox, necessarily, but of God. Every time I've wanted to stop believing in Him, He's done something that keeps me from losing faith. I can't stop believing in Him...He won't let me.

(and sure, the Sox lost...but that seems a bit irrelevant, now doesn't it?)

I'm blogging, as promised

2008-10-18T00:52:00.001-07:00

So I'm actually blogging my trip over at leishainafrica.blogspot.com.

Also, Mike or someone needs to update the header for our HC blog to reflect the fact that we now meet on Tuesdays.

Kwaheri,
Leisha

Keep the faith

2008-10-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

Several months back, I used the 2004 Red Sox as a metaphor to illustrate my point that "the fun is in the faith." The point was that, as the Sox began their incredible, never-been-done-before comeback from a 3-0 deficit, I couldn't be bothered to believe it possible. Same thing happened in 2007 when they came back from 3-1. It's like I believed I'd somehow be rewarded for dropping my faith. Instead, in each case, I ran from my faith. In each case I wound up feeling silly. The Red Sox came back from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back and I found myself wondering why I'd bothered doubting them in the first place.

This behavior also surfaced in my walk with the Lord, of course -- those times where I really wanted to believe, but found it somehow too risky to believe in the improbable, in His power.

* * *

Probably the biggest thing I learned in the past year was a corollary to that last bit: if I'm going to say I believe in an all-powerful God, I need to act like it. I need to believe it. For the past several months, I did that. Even if things didn't wind up the way I wanted them to, I believed they could. I believed that all things were possible through the Lord.

Earlier today I was thinking about the 3-1 series deficit the Sox were facing this year. I was tired of reading the pundits talk about past Sox comebacks. As far as I was concerned, they were cooked. Everyone on the team looks tired and the difference between this year's situation and past years, I was quick to point out, is that this year's team is less talented than their competition (unlike 2007 vs. Cleveland and 2004 against the Yankees). Between injuries to several key players and generally being not as good as Tampa Bay, I figured this season was over. I didn't even plan to watch the game.

But Mike, I internally dialogued, doesn't this contradict your newfound belief, in, well, belief? If you believe all the crazy, improbable things in the Bible, if you truly believe that all things are possible through Christ...I mean, is it so hard to believe a baseball team can win three games in a row, even with inferior talent?

For more than two hours, there looked to be no reason to believe. Through six innings, the Sox were down 7-0 and had two (2) hits. My friend Meg and I just wanted the game to end early enough to be able to see The Office. Then, despite my lack of faith, I was rewarded: the Sox, down to their last seven outs, scored eight runs to win game 5 and complete the greatest postseason single game comeback in 79 years (!)

Winding down afterwards, I couldn't help but think about how this again mirrors my walk with the Lord. After the 2007 baseball season, I promised I would never again stop believing. Obviously that didn't happen. Again, I feel silly for ever doubting. It will, I'm sure, be the same thing with my relationship with God. I'm sitting here, trying to convince myself that I'll never stop believing in Him. Thing is, someday I will doubt him again. It might not be an overt thing where I actually say aloud "I doubt you, God," but my actions, my inner beliefs will say those words.

But you know what the greatest thing is? Even when I have trouble believing, God loves me, and cares for me and prays for me. I'd love to be able to say "I will always believe, with all my heart," but it's probably not true. Even when it's not true, though, I know He is there for me. In my absolute weakness, when I have lost all belief, when I cannot find even a glimmer of hope, that's when He is strongest. And for that, my friends, I am more thankful than anything else.